omnipotent revelations

genius hits a target no one else can see...🇨🇱 #FreakParty

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

If you're 40+ and haven't married I think it's safe to say your soulmate's been hit by a bus. Cut your losses, adopt a cat.

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

Distance creates opportunity.

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

@earthcurated @lillypayette

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

@Rainmaker1973 @lillypayette

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

Relationship status:

In a fight with my dog.

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

The reason I like Twitter is because it's all talk, & no action. Makes me feel like a real American. Maybe I'll run for congress.

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

*gets pulled over*

*hands over white privileged card*

*hits blunt*

*drinks beer*

*thumb wrestles cop*

*wins*

Cop:

"You're free to go"

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

DATING TIP: Split the check. Split the table. Split a concrete block. Karate chop your way into her heart.

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

@QuinnEwers has the spacial awareness of my 87 year old grandma. perfect QB for 1950 where athleticism was not yet established. @TexasFootball @ArchManning atleast knows when he snaps.. ppl are trying to stop him from scoring, and doesn’t take 2 steps up in the pocket for a sack

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Forward this video to friends & family to understand just how evil the government has been

[Joe Rogan @joerogan]

The great and powerful @elonmusk.
If it wasn't for him we'd be fucked. He makes what I think is the most compelling case for Trump you'll hear, and I agree with him every step of the way.
For the record, yes, that's an endorsement of Trump.
Enjoy the podcast

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

Here we go again with “can’t review” rhetoric about a made up game, with made up rules, that can change at any moment with a decision to not live in unremarkable ignorance @NFL what’s your take?

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Worth watching

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

@cryptocom why can I not sell tectonic?

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

@malikwillis I bet that you would get sacked three times (unprabable) but thrown for a 100 yards (probable) @Chiefs guess which one didn’t happen 😂😂

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

@Vikings shell defense looking really good tonight baby! Fantasy football Opposing team dream. What’s the definition of insanity?

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

@Vikings after 400+ yards within 3q you may want to … idk shake things up on Defense?

[Tulsi Gabbard 🌺 @TulsiGabbard]

Our democracy is in grave danger. Government institutions - from DOJ, DHS to the IRS - are blatantly being weaponized against political opponents of those in power. Being punished by the state for dissenting or merely asking questions is the hallmark of a dictatorship.

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

What?

[Dr. Thomas Kauffman @thomaskffmn]

This is what started today’s #wallstreet #RobinHood chaos. The @reddit community is incredible!!

[omnipotent revelations @Jfficial]

@TheNotoriousMMA I’ve got the perfect jam for ya today! #Notorious #UFC257