Mr.

🥳

[January James-Riggs @JanuaryJames]

If your boobs bounce while you’re wielding a knife, he won’t notice the knife.

[January James-Riggs @JanuaryJames]

I’ll never be offended by a man holding a door open for me or pulling out a chair for me.

[January James-Riggs @JanuaryJames]

I’m a little bit possessive and a little bit possessed.

[January James-Riggs @JanuaryJames]

Some days I just don’t have anything to say here that won’t get me banned.

[January James-Riggs @JanuaryJames]

I haven’t decided whether to use my boobs for good or evil today.

[S̲uper H̲uman A̲utomated Y̲odeler @_indica_sky]

I’m starting to think I’m much stupider than I give myself credit for.

[S̲uper H̲uman A̲utomated Y̲odeler @_indica_sky]

Hey you. Yes you. I’m really fucking proud of you.

[S̲uper H̲uman A̲utomated Y̲odeler @_indica_sky]

I’m running away. Who’s coming with me?

[S̲uper H̲uman A̲utomated Y̲odeler @_indica_sky]

Do what’s best for you. Everyone else will adjust.

[S̲uper H̲uman A̲utomated Y̲odeler @_indica_sky]

Sir, I’ve seen your penis. Lower your tone.

[S̲uper H̲uman A̲utomated Y̲odeler @_indica_sky]

Probably gonna smoke weed until I forget my own name and continue to not give a fuck if that’s cool with you.

[S̲uper H̲uman A̲utomated Y̲odeler @_indica_sky]

You want to be comfortable. I want to be better. We are not the same.

[S̲uper H̲uman A̲utomated Y̲odeler @_indica_sky]

I think I’d rather catch cholera and have to use sandpaper as toilet paper than start dating again.

[S̲uper H̲uman A̲utomated Y̲odeler @_indica_sky]

I love people the way I wish I had been loved and hope one day will be my turn.

[Mr. @thisis_thatguy]

Never miss an opportunity to drop a good "fuck you" on someone.

[Mr. @thisis_thatguy]

If you're one of those people who buy 67 lottery tickets at the gas station..
Happy holidays 🖕

[Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams]

I'm glad that Halloween is behind us so we can concentrate on the truly scary holidays.

[courtneybonneauimages @cbonneauimages]

Make your own warmth and then invite people to sit by you.

[courtneybonneauimages @cbonneauimages]

Men taking my some men don't handle rejection well tweet as a personal rejection and not handling it well is peak twitter.

[courtneybonneauimages @cbonneauimages]

I can tell that thing bothers you. Have you tried not being bothered by that thing? Now pay me $200.

~ me as a therapist