Matt Brown

I'll likely learn programming the same way I learned Cantonese, drawing, and banjo: Watch TV with my beer resting on 5 unread Amazon books. -Merlin Mann. Yep.

[Matt Brown @Jhereg]

@biocow @JustinRYoung Jesus, trigger warning next time.

[Plague Of Gripes @PlagueOfGripes]

An apparition appears in your room, alongside a more successful looking doppelganger of yourself.

Apparition: " - and THIS is what you would be!"

Doppelganger: "Oh my god! Spare me these twisted visions, specter! I've learned my lesson!"

(both vanish)

You: Hey what the fuck

[Matt Brown @Jhereg]

@TKarrieren I think you’ve got the wrong Twitter handle there.

[A.R. Moxon 🦋 @JuliusGoat]

My wife told me I was being pedantic and I told her I thought I was actually being more didactic than pedantic, anyway I’m going to need a place to stay.

[Matt Brown @Jhereg]

@PatrickRothfuss I approve of your non-compliant cocoa.

[Yell in a War @jelenawoehr]

It’s wild to me how everyone has roughly the same “world is ending” feeling right now but some people feel that way because of fascism and climate change while others feel that way, with equal intensity, because of drag queens at libraries and singular they/them pronouns.

[Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel]

when i use behooves in a sentence

[Basic Apple Guy @BasicAppleGuy]

Lesser known Apple Watch Workouts:
Cable Management

[Matt Brown @Jhereg]

@siracusa A quiet place?

[Tag Sag @tagsavage]

Robocop is about two warring product managers who share a common goal but can't align on a solution. A tragic film.

[Matt Brown @Jhereg]

@siracusa The untouchables?

[Christopher @BunchesOfBees]

The metaverse is very funny because it’s basically everyone in corporate America being so horny for monetization they forgot to even make the thing they’re trying to monetize first and now they’re just hoping you won’t notice before you throw money at it

[Randall Munroe @xkcd]

Control Group https://t.co/XS6CeFnjQs

[Matt Brown @Jhereg]

Has no one done a mash up of The Mandalorian opening with Peacemaker dance moves yet? Let’s get on that, internet. Though why stop there? All shows need a dance number now. Law & Order, Drive to Survive, 60 minutes - yessssssss.

[Rob DenBleyker @RobDenBleyker]

the funniest part of the 2011 comedy "Contagion" is when they invent a lifesaving vaccine at the end, and then everyone takes the vaccine. hahahaha fantastic writing

[Matt Brown @Jhereg]

@Hellmanns I am entering an impassioned plea to #BringBackCLAMONAISE.

[Matt Brown @Jhereg]

ATTENTION FRIENDS. I HAVE RECEIVED FIVE DOLLARS FROM CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY IN EXCHANGE FOR POSTING THIS ADVERTISEMENT. GET YOUR OWN FIVE DOLLARS AT https://t.co/RAowNSHJ1N #GOTFIVEDOLLARS

[SwiftOnSecurity @SwiftOnSecurity]

I bought a home and now my weekend life is just defeating entropy in wood instead of silicon

[Matt Brown @Jhereg]

@cwgabriel @ZiplyFiber Good luck getting any answers on future fiber installation. I’ve been told by contractor crews they were laying fiber on my street and called in and no one had any idea.