Jimmy Eaglehorn

[Anderz @Anderzin0]

I used to date this girl, and whenever we had sex, she’d make direct eye contact with me and say, “Oh, wow, you’re jizzing a boatload,” every time I came, in the most emotionally detached tone I’ve ever heard.

[Jimmy Eaglehorn @JimmyEaglehorn]

@fw_naetoblaq Making yourself physically tired + focusing on a YouTube video (just the sound) or podcast/tv show that you are familiar with, will shift focus away from sleep/other thoughts to whatever is playing. Limit food intake as well + proper wind down + limit blue light exposures

[Buck @BuckOnTwidder]

guy on my plane reading a book and writing notes in it. not enough words in there for ya bud?

[Lee (Greater) @shortmagsmle]

Godspeed, Mr. Adams.

[Justin Ferguson @JFergusonAU]

mother-in-law just dialed up a new Christmas movie that’s at 2.5 on Letterboxd and 35% on Rotten Tomatoes, let’s get fired up

[Gabe @melchizedek420]

Just a few more hours of scrolling and then I will finally Know

[Charlie Kirk @charliekirk11]

Good men must die, but death can't kill their names.

[Jimmy Eaglehorn @JimmyEaglehorn]

@MattMorseTV Big work

[Jimmy Eaglehorn @JimmyEaglehorn]

@MattMorseTV Disgusting interaction with a grown man. Reflected on the fact that it could impact people who aren’t involved, literal children, and disregarded it and lied about the tone of your message.

[GarbageApe @GarbageApe]

kennedy

[doomer @uncledoomer]

poster goes hard. id hang that shit in my foyer

[wint @dril]

ohh my hollywood career!! i didnt condemn hamas enough! now ill never get to write the worst tv show in history thats also pro Mental Helath

[Rogert @xeroger]

To smithereens has to be one of worst ways to get blown

[clare @sadderlizards]

just big and greedy

[wint @dril]

elon, disgraced rick & morty guy taking turns snorting klonopin off anchorman dvd case "What if there was a galaxy where dreams are illegal"

[Brian @audioguy182]

Fuck I got banned from another casino for throwing poker chips at hoes!♣️

[wint @dril]

you bitchs would rather play Candy Crush than Crush cans. Put that on Dateline nbc

[Zack @Asmongold]

I'm not sure who needs to hear this but-

If you donate money to a girl on the internet hoping it will increase your chances of being in a relationship with her, you are an idiot

[Fitz aka Lou Sassol @Fitz_Good]

Days since pooping my pants: 0. :(