Jimmy Rhodes

I book shows in DC and Baltimore. I play Drums in Burial Waves. I love air conditioning and the Washington Capitals and I never check Twitter.

[BrooklynVegan @brooklynvegan]

.@BurialWaves' (new band from Pianos Become the Teeth singer) debut EP is one of our favorite punk EPs of 2021. Read more about it here: https://t.co/LNeQBB38SS

[Jimmy Rhodes @JimmyRhodes]

@JPh3lps @lukeoneil47 Thanks! This means a lot! Glad you dig!

[Jimmy Rhodes @JimmyRhodes]

@stereogum Well, looks like Heaven does exist

[Jimmy Rhodes @JimmyRhodes]

@LilNasX please bring back the Quesolupa 🙏🎉

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Guess you can just cruise down to the capital in a clown car wearin’ some crap you got from Bass Pro Shop for Christmas and break in the window like no big deal. Should get one a them new home security systems they show on the TV. Kinda concerning, you guys.

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Might head to Chili’s with my teen son, Chad. Get some To Go. Set up a few chairs in the lot. Build a dumpster trash fire. Blaze some dope. Rip some booze. Rap to some lonelies gettin’ a meal for one.

It’s not where you’re at, it’s how you rock. Drip those vibes, you guys.

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Bet them super fridges for the vaccine get your beer cold real fast. Probly money for vod and other boozes as well. Wonder if they’ll be for sale after the ‘demic? Might have to scoop one, you guys.

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

14 million Americans will lose their unemployment benefits if Trump does not sign Covid relief legislation today.

Mr. President: Stop playing golf and sign this bill NOW! And tell Mitch McConnell to pass legislation to provide $2,000 direct payments to the working class.

[Jimmy Rhodes @JimmyRhodes]

@MathiasxDC So true

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Forgot to get a ‘Ween ‘stume. Decided to just take off my shirt and go as, “All Beef Stud.”

Wrote it on my chest, superhero style, to clarify.

Gonna walk around the complex and see if any babes get hungry eyes.

All Beef Stud is here to erotically save the day, you guys.

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Can’t get warm. Was locked outside for several hours last night in my All Beef Stud shirtless erotic superhero ‘stume. Had to wrap myself in some old carpet by the dumpsters. My teen son, Chad, went to hang with a pal and stupid Dave locked the door! Wanna kill Dave so hard.

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Trump is a fancy boy who wouldn’t spit in your direction if you were on fire.

The piece of trash pimps the common man. He’s a slumlord.

Trump thinks American Veterans are “losers.” Heroes who risked their lives to defend our country.

Remember these things tomorrow, you guys.

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

If I was ever in line for a possible dirt nap and on a helicopter, I’d slip the pilot a 20 to skip the hospital and just fly that beast straight into the sun. Such a badass adios, you guys.

[Jimmy Rhodes @JimmyRhodes]

@MathiasxDC @kingmilesiii @marvin_dc @WhiskeysDC Waaattttt-thanks bro!!

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Whoa. Just saw that the prez is gonna run for office again. Thought the whole planet agreed that bag of day old donuts was ready for the trash. Guess I don’t understand politics, you guys.

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Folks have some unpleasant things to say about Creed, but Mark Tremonti’s guitar work on tracks like Higher, and, With Arms Wide Open, really hit the spot sometimes. The tone is thicker than fudge frosting.

This sativa my teen son, Chad, scored is hittin’ mega hard, you guys.

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Gonna stare at tv bass fishing ‘til my eyes glaze over and I drift into the comforting embrace of the dark, final abyss, you guys.

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Ever listen to Walking in Memphis by Marc Cohn? Like REALLY listen to it? Man. Heavy stuff, you guys.

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Just vote for whoever is the least crappy option. Voting is important, you guys.

[Karl Welzein @DadBoner]

Chad, my son, is probably 18? None of my business. Anyway, as a parent, you have to make the call as to when your child can enjoy light beers. It's not like we're talkin' IPAs here. We're talkin' easy drinkin' light beers with a smooth finish. Not a big deal, you guys.