Joshua Kay

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

Reform U.K. is for people who have tattoos of their children but not custody of them.

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

Only an idiot would #VoteReform

[Joao Castelo-Branco @j_castelobranco]

Todo torcedor do #Arsenal essa semana.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿Every Arsenal fan this week…
#gooners

[Laura Kirk-Francis @LauraKirk12]

There is absolutely no ceiling to how much I enjoy Man United failing. The limit does not exist. It will never, ever get old.

[Tom Gara @tomgara]

The Elon news is crowding out a significantly funnier story: Russia staged a fake bust of alleged Ukrainian Nazi assassins, and the guy tasked with assembling the paraphernalia for the photo bought three copies of The Sims instead of three SIM cards https://t.co/J6Cf2Ioegz

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

Man Utd are putting together a short list of potential managers.

Ralf Rangnick is currently phoning the club, pretending to be each candidate and doing funny voices like Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire.

[Ilkay Gündogan @IlkayGuendogan]

With all the Super League stuff going on... can we please also speak about the new Champions League format? More and more and more games, is no one thinking about us players?
The new UCL format is just the lesser of the two evils in comparison to the Super League...

[Paul Watson @paul_c_watson]

At least the 18-24 year olds will have loved how quick the European Super League was.

[Sir Michael @Michael1979]

I know everyone is opposed to the Super League but when you read how it will work, it sounds pretty good, imo 👍

[Randy Shafter @RandyShafter]

I WIPE MY FUCKING ARSE WITH THIS GAME! Seriously, fuck this shit and launch it into fucking orbit. What is the point anymore. There is no fucking point. You can plan. You can build spreadsheets. You can spend hours pouring through the stats. But all it really comes down to

[James Blunt @JamesBlunt]

Emily Blunt, maybe. Me, I’m not so sure.

[West Ham United @WestHam]

Congratulations to @Nickhumphrey16, his dad Paul and cousin Matt who joined @CarltonCole1 for @Kissimmee Best Seat in the House for that win ⚒

[Gary Lineker @GaryLineker]

Just as Newcastle were about to win their next trophy. Rotten luck.

[Sadiq Khan @SadiqKhan]

Anyone else think it was pretty good? 🤔

[Danny Wallace @dannywallace]

Absolute pricks are easy to spot, because they know literally nothing.

[Thurrock Council @thurrockcouncil]

👋 Debbie supports the rents officers within our housing rents team. 👋

Our officers are available to offer free basic benefit and debt advice to our tenants. For support, call: 01375 652 815 or email: [email protected]

#SavingWinter

[U&Dave @davechannel]

After The Prime Minister's announcement tonight Dave has the perfect schedule:
7pm - Not Going Out
7.40pm - Not Going Out
8.20pm - Not Going Out
9pm - Would I Lie To You
9.40pm - Would I Lie To You

[Piers Morgan @piersmorgan]

This is the best piece I’ve read about Covid for months, by a Tory doctor who dissects all the myths surrounding the virus with remarkable clarity & cold, hard reality. Whatever your views of the crisis, take a moment to read it. 👇👇