John

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@Dadsaysjokes You might want to credit @GaryDelaney if you’re going to nick his jokes.

[. @jdpoc]

Reminder today that Yaxley again crowd-funded his “defence fund“, then pleaded guilty.

So that cash? Yeah, that’s his now.

This is what he does for a living.

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

Looks like I'll have to cancel my plan to give Taylor Swift a £100m PPE contract and a peerage.

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@JonathanPieNews The reason the vaccine was a success, was that it was the one thing they couldn’t sell off to their mates.

[John @Jockmcdougall]

Scored 8/10 in today's quiz, think you can do better? #quizoftheday https://t.co/I6rtWiMm7S

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@fesshole Never knowingly understood. 🤔

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@RickiNeill Glitch in the matrix

[More Than a Tremor @morethanatremor]

Parkinson’s:

Cost to UK economy last year = £3.83 billion

UK Government Parkinson’s research funding for same period = £0.01 billion

It’s just not a fair fight.

To find out more about the wider impact of #parkinsons read the blog 👉https://t.co/QSZzEMSawK

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@Gr3ant @fesshole Hope it’s not cuntagius.

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@NoContextBrits Want to feel old as fuck?
Try explaining the Millenium Bug to anyone under 30.

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@Follow_Follow_ Maybe they’ll play Enter Sandman to help them nod back off before the second half.

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@JacobBaker613 @MarioNawfal Only if you promise not to shoot our kids when they are at school.

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@Follow_Follow_ Didn’t Bubka get a bonus every time he broke the WR. He never broke it by more than 1cm at a time, funny that 🤣🤣

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@fesshole A friend who worked for SSPCA told me that any pet gets put down as a matter of routine once they have eaten human flesh. Btw a dog will wait till it’s absolutely starving till it starts eating it’s owner, a cat will just wait till it’s hungry.

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@hammersmikey @pauldm @NoContextBrits @JamesTCobbler That’s James Timpson you’re thinking about, but Timpsons do this as well.

[World Bollard Association™ @WorldBollard]

A truly rare sight…
#WorldBollardAssociation 👀

[John @Jockmcdougall]

Shocking that none of the Spanish players are singing their national anthem, honestly, I have no words. 🎶🎶😀

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@JonathanPieNews Is there a chance that Biden is doing the political version of this?

https://t.co/jYNIBGRH7H

[Geir Jordet @GeirJordet]

A penalty kick is a team performance! For Chelsea's decisive penalty last night, Azpilicueta acted as decoy for Palmeira's mind games, while the real penalty taker, Havertz, quietly prepared his kick in the periphery. Then a last-second switch. How did they do it? And why? 1/9

[John @Jockmcdougall]

@jayrayner1 @mrjamesob But the note said there was no money left in 2010”

[Chris Bryant @RhonddaBryant]

The Tory reaction to Keir saying he would like to keep Friday evenings (note Fridays) for his family is mendacious and hypocritical.
Just remember
👇Dorries and Hancock in the Jungle
👇Johnson and Raab on holiday while Afghanistan fell
👇Sunak returning early from D-Day