Joe Beltran

Stand up comic from San Bernardino, CA. Grow and flow.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

#comedy #standupcomedy #jokes #homeless #goodwill #thrifting #thrift

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

@FantasyPros Your guy @DBro_FFB told me and everyone else to draft him. GET BETTER “ANALYSTS” on the program.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

@MasonDoddFFN Tell that to G. Wilson.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

@KyleYNFL Dalvin cook.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

@TheFFBallers Kenneth I’m-walking-on-sunshine.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

@DBro_FFB At least you apologized. Other FF experts don’t have the guts to man up when they are wrong.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

@andyholloway You’re the grim reaper for player when they become your “My Guys.” So I’m avoiding players on your list. 😩😩😩

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

Happy!

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

I gave out my number to Ralph Lauren one time and they won’t stop texting me. I think I’m going to block them. Is this what’s like to be a woman?

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

Every women I’ve ever meet is scared to reverse her car in the streets, but not scared to reverse her ass into a total stranger in the sheets.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

I tried buying a dog and they ran my credit score. I didn’t know they ran your numbers to buy a pet. Anyways, I walked out of there with a cockroach on a leash.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

@xWroth @steveaustinBSR @Nadeshot @100Thieves @LAThieves 😱😱😱😱😱

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

If you want to check if your shawdy is being faithful, ask her if you can apply at her job and if she comes up with any excuse on why it wouldn’t be a good idea for you to work there, then you know she at work doing hoodrat shit. Honest women have nothing to hide.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

I’m probably the meanest person when it comes to myself. So if you ever think you’re hurting my feelings by saying horrible stuff to me, just know I’ve said 10x worse things about me to me.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

Don’t you dare call yourself a man if you’ve never fucked in steel toe boots.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

It’s a good time.

[George Ferido @TheGeorgeF]

Ontario Improv. I’m back. Let’s rage.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

Is it easier to make it in comedy or music?

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

@xWroth Did you see rogan and friends reaction?

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

My father walked for 3 days and 3 nights in the Sonora desert to cross over into the United States armed with a backpack filled with clothing and water bottles cuz he was determined to live a better life.

I on the other hand, won’t drive to Walmart if it’s raining.

[Joe Beltran @JoeBeltranx]

Not everything has to make sense when you’re being fucked over.