Joe Lukorito

Techie | Cloud Computing | Big Data Enthusiast | Farmer | Baller 🏀
#MUFC
You won't find happiness in the same place you lost it.
Move on!

[MrBanks💰 @Mrbankstips]

🐐 @Cristiano

[Joe Lukorito @JoeLukorito]

@BoomingGrace @Jx3ls @mmaduabuchi_10 @iamJoshuaKigbu C2 🙌🏾

[Joe Lukorito @JoeLukorito]

@talk2_joseph 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Bobby_Dazzler @Inspector_khay1]

We need to stop praising people for working 16 hours a day. If surviving requires destroying your health, that’s a system problem, not a flex.

[The Kenyan Vigilante @KenyanSays]

Bungoma Governor Kenneth Lusaka explains why men from the Luhya community are not allowed to greet their mothers-in-law.

[World Cup Anime @WorldCupAnime]

The Only One Who Can Defeat France.

[Joe Lukorito @JoeLukorito]

@UtdKhare 🐐Respect!!

[DisTurB🎮 @DisTurB____]

south africans are going bek to their kentry

[Joe Lukorito @JoeLukorito]

@EcEssie 🐐🙌🏾

[A Man Of Memes @RickyDoggin]

RULES FOR SONS:

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
2. Don’t enter a pool by the stairs.
3. The man at the BBQ Grill is the closest thing to a king.
4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
5. Request the late check-out.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
8. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
9. Play with passion or not at all…
10. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.
11. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
12. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
13. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
14. You marry the girl, you marry her family.
15. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
16. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
17. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
18. Never turn down a breath mint.
19. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
20. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
21. Thank a veteran. Then make it up to him.
22. Eat lunch with the new kid.
23. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
24. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
25. Manners maketh the man.
26. Give credit. Take the blame.
27. Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied.
28. Write down your dreams.
29. Always protect your siblings (and teammates).
30. Be confident and humble at the same time.
31. Call and visit your parents often. They miss you.
32. The healthiest relationships are those where you’re a team; where you respect, protect, and stand up for each other.

[Vivianne @Rixviv]

Police: madam fungua gari
Me: me si madam, madam ni ocs mumama
P: unaongea vibaya
M:
P: unavaa aje ukienda kazi
M: sivaangi uniform kama mtoto wa shule na polisi
P: Twende police station
M: Sawa na sibebangi polisi
P: hakuna bodaboda
M: Ambia Ruto!

[Eric Latiff @EricLatiff]

Did the government notify anybody that it would picket today and #OccupyAllRoads?

[Joe Lukorito @JoeLukorito]

@KipronohTips Ulipika fiti jana, moja tu ilichoma...
Shukran sana!

[Nandi 🤍💜🤍 @pallnandi]

Once you date a woman who invests in you, you’ll start to realize how much nonsense you tolerated before.

[Cerebral Assassin @xysist]

The main challenge in life is women want their responsibilities treated as sacrifices but want men’s sacrifices to be treated as responsibilities.

[Bonnie Mwangi, CPA, LLM, MBA @MwangiBonnie]

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Fellow Kenyans,

Every generation is handed a cause.

The Mau Mau generation fought colonial oppression.

The democracy generation fought dictatorship and impunity.

Our generation has been handed a different struggle:

The fight against corruption, state capture, and the theft of our future.

Today, Kenyans have learned that a reported USD 2.9 billion airport contract has been linked to Wicknell Chivayo, a charlatan and conman whose name has repeatedly appeared in procurement controversies, corruption investigations, tender scandals, and financial misconduct allegations across Southern Africa.

Such as:

1. Election Tender Scandal

Zimbabwe's Anti-Corruption Commission investigated procurement involving election materials supplied through South African company Ren-Form, where leaked documents allegedly showed extraordinary price inflation on equipment and services. The matter attracted anti-corruption investigations in both Zimbabwe and South Africa.

Examples cited by investigators and media reports included:

>>A server reportedly invoiced at approximately R23 million despite a much lower market value being alleged.
>>Biometric voter registration kits allegedly increasing dramatically in price.
>>Questions regarding the flow of funds from government contracts to companies associated with Chivayo.

2. South African Financial Intelligence Investigations

A leaked South African Financial Intelligence Centre (FIC) report reportedly found that more than R800 million flowed from Ren-Form to business accounts associated with Chivayo after the Zimbabwean government paid the supplier. The report concluded that criminal activity could not be ruled out and recommended further investigation. Chivayo has denied wrongdoing.

3. The US$3.2 Billion Dossier

In 2025, a leaked dossier alleged that more than US$3.2 billion had been diverted through corrupt contracting arrangements involving politically connected business figures, including Chivayo. The allegations generated calls for forensic audits and political scrutiny. These allegations remain contested and should be treated as allegations rather than established facts.

4. Long History of Procurement Controversies

Mr. Chivayo is a charlatan, through and through. He has previously been associated with controversial public contracts, including Zimbabwe's Gwanda Solar Project, where significant public funds were advanced but the project became the subject of investigations, parliamentary scrutiny, and public controversy.

5. Access to Political Power

Multiple reports have highlighted Chivayo's unusually close relationships with senior political figures across the region and his public display of that access. Critics argue that these political connections help explain how he repeatedly appears around major public contracts

Please watch the attached video -in entirety.

When you do - please ask @WilliamsRuto this question:

What is the deal with you and thieves?

Explain to Kenyans, your penchant for criminals and bottom feeders.

But, this is not really about Wicknell Chivayo.

It is about a pattern.

First, we witnessed the attempted airport deal involving the Adani Group, another shadowy entity facing serious corruption allegations internationally.

Kenyans stood up and stopped it.

Second, we continue to see a government that repeatedly embraces and appoints individuals facing serious integrity questions, including some who have been investigated by our own @EACCKenya

Third, we are seeing major public contracts increasingly associated with secrecy, direct negotiations, and limited competition instead of transparency and open tendering.

Fourth, we have watched scandal after scandal unfold — SHA, Talanta Stadium, Bomas of Kenya, education funding fraud, healthcare fraud, and countless audit queries involving billions of shillings.

Fifth, we have now reached the point where even citizenship itself appears to be losing its meaning, amid reports of Kenyan passports being issued to controversial foreign figures under questionable circumstances.

Including this same charlatan, Mr. Chivayo.

At what point do we stop calling this coincidence?

At what point do we acknowledge that corruption is no longer an accident of government, but a governing culture?

Fellow Kenyans,

This is bigger than politics.

This is bigger than tribes.

This is bigger than William Ruto.

This is about Kenya. Our only home.

It is about whether our country will be governed by the rule of law or by the rule of connections.

Whether public resources will serve citizens or politically connected insiders.

Whether our children inherit a nation of opportunity or a nation captured by greed.

I have a message for every Kenyan, including supporters of this government:

Put politics aside for a moment.

Ask yourself one question.

If another president displayed this exact pattern — the same appointments, the same scandals, the same controversial contracts, the same disregard for public concern — would you defend it?

If the answer is no, then your loyalty must be to Kenya, not to politicians.

To the presidents supporters:

Explain how in a country of 50 million people - highly qualified and ethical, the president appoints thief after thief to high office. The receipts are attached here.

Explain how the president ended up in bed with the Adani Group - another shadowy entity known globally for corruption.

And then explain how - the same contract that was awarded to the Adani Group - and which Kenyans were able to stop, and in connection to which WE ARE ON THE HOOK FOR BILLIONS IN PENALTIES, has now been awarded to yet another charlatan.

Please tell us how unlucky this president is.

Every single person he does business with is a criminal.

Every last one of them.

My fellow Kenyans,

History is watching us.

Future generations will ask:

What did you do when corruption was consuming your country?

Did you remain silent?

Or did you stand up?

The time has come for every Kenyan of goodwill to stand up.

Stand up for accountability.

Stand up for transparency.

Stand up for competitive procurement.

Stand up for the rule of law.

Stand up for the future of our children.

Let us make one thing clear to every politician, every broker, every corrupt contractor, and every beneficiary of state capture:

Kenya is not for sale.

Our future is not for sale.

And we will not surrender our country to corruption.

Enough is enough.

Let us all resolve today that we will stop this corruption.

Beginning with this corrupt deal. We can stop it.

And we should.

@NAssemblyKE @Senate_KE @MoGAbdi @FlavNasmbu @MigunaMiguna @OCCRP

[Leley254 🇰🇪 @pkomot]

As a man, normalise a boring life. Go to bed early. Read long books. Drink tea. Regulate your nervous system. Spend time alone. Go for walks without headphones. Eat simple food. Shrink your circle. Turn down the noise.

[𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗝𝗔 @iamjoseh_]

She's too old for you, she's being predatory 😂

[Joe Lukorito @JoeLukorito]

@StepheneWoni Pipi na fastponi, maisha nywee! 😂

[k @alfkkifine]

One of the most brutal realities of the male experience that nobody talks about is the absolute "affection desert" they live in. A woman can get a hug, a genuine compliment, and deep emotional support from her platonic friends on a random Tuesday. A man can go an entire calendar year without another human being touching his arm, asking if he's okay, or giving him a sincere compliment. We’ve built a society where a man only gets to experience basic human warmth if he is actively providing for a partner. Outside of that, he is completely invisible.