Joe Varneran

Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little black.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

I like big NUTS n my pecan pie u other bakers cant deny When a treat comes n with a crust too thin & the crumbs get on my chin It gets FLUNG

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

why do people live in regular houses when there are steakhouses

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

Command respect by your actions rather than demanding it with your words.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

I like to walk through the mall and hand out bags of Cheetos to all the kids I see wearing white clothes

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

*person i hate breathes* CONTROL YOUR FUCKING SELF

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

Beyonce faked the national anthem- what else has she lied to us about? Was the club REALLY full of ballers? Was it jumpin jumpin? Was it??

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

You're never too old to disappoint your parents.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

Life is half spent before we know what it is. George Herbert

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

A true friend cares like a mom, scolds like a dad, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother, and loves more than a lover.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

Just stop using the internet if u don't know the difference between ur, u'r, & y'rue.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

Everything happens for a reason. And that reason is that life hates me.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

Always be yourself, the people that matter love you for you.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

We get about 25 screaming 5 yr old little girls together to scream nonstop at terrorists, BOOM, we win the War on Terror!

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

I hate when I'm listening to music really loud and I have to keep pausing it because I constantly think I'm hearing my name being called.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

let's head over to the barber shop and make hair angels on the floor

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

I bet you if you pressure your child into becoming a drug addicted, alcoholic gang banger, they will disappoint you and become a doctor.

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

It's weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."

[Joe Varneran @JoeVarneran]

If Facebook ever does create an APP too allow others to see who viewed their profiles I see a lot of restraining orders in my future.