Execute me with a firing squad. Cheers bud.

I'm actually a fucking dipshit, my man. That's a secret though so don't tell anyone.

[allison harvard burke @alliharvard]

i've pumped all my money into this fucking lizard

[BigChapAlien21 @BigChapAlien21]

Do your duty.

[Champions of the Ice @ChampionsOTIce]

It's funny that one of the most common threads throughout history that has been deliberately suppressed by our education systems is that great men who lead their armies into battle tend to be of strong moral character regardless of what banner they carry.

Zhukov for the Soviets.
Rommel for the Nazis.
Lee for the Confederacy.

Their regimes may have been our enemies, but they themselves demonstrated exceptional honor in their personal conduct.

That's why their men followed them and their enemies respected them.

[刻矛 MAO 🔆🪱🔆 @MVjagaimo]

engineers discovered the fastest way for a humanoid robot to run was the classic "anime girl late for school with toast in mouth" i guess???

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

smash bros announcer: CLARK BACKROOMS! *crunchy wiimote speaker* i am a fucking architect!!

[Patrick Fox @RealCynicalFox]

We’re still issuing the Purple Hearts minted in anticipation of invading the Japanese Home Islands. That’s how bad it would have been.

[Carbon 🇺🇲 @BlessedCarbon]

Imagine being a little baby and your job is hot glue gun

[Bill Linnane @Bill_Linnane]

This makes him sound like a gangland criminal

[Dave @GamewithDave]

This is how we used to doomscroll back in the day.

[corsaren @corsaren]

This is lowkey such a cool and unique type of “performance art” that probably wouldn’t work in any other medium than a social media site.

Just a whole month of replaying events in ~real-time, curated with the benefit of hindsight, building up to a reveal we all know is coming.

[J Williamson @JayDGW]

we’re done splitting the g, we now set the table

[dande @dande_only]

when you see your customisable character in a cutscene

[beetle moses @beetlemoses]

Would you get their autograph?

[Brew Hefner @brew1hefner]

L&B silver when you’re ready love

[🅱️askerville @WB_Baskerville]

He did turn out to be right about this fwiw

[Pulp Covers @PulpCovers]

"Hey, did you make that chocolate bar ad i asked for?"

"Sure did, boss! Real fuckin ominous, just like you wanted"

".... what?"

[cants @cantseyy]

I'd have died that day too

[Sunny @sunnyright]

Progressives will tell you that executing serial killers is inhumane but executing grandma is progressive and enlightened.