Johan Gouws

Not a work horse. And kinda don't give a fuck what you think of me!

[Scott’s Tots @JefeJK47]

Yes, I may have hit that traffic cone...but in my defense I was thanking someone for an imaginary trophy on the fucking Internet.

[gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy]

Sadly learned my family is racist. I started dating a black girl. Brought her home to meet the family. Wife and kids wouldn't talk to her.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

.@WebMD my then wife allison’had me kidnapped & men drugged me took my semen this is how I am a Virgin and a dad #sharkweek

[noog @noog]

Insomnia remedies:

1) Kill yourself.

[Verifried Drunk™®© @VerifiedDrunk]

Did you quit smoking cigarettes or quit buying cigarettes because there is a difference you fucking leech.

[Abhorrent Housewife @abhorrent_wife]

Hey, dude polishing a Pontiac Firebird in the school parking lot-

What's the point when the inevitable tsunami of pussy is just gonna hit?

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Barber just asked me what I did this weekend. Looks like *somebody* doesn’t follow my micro-blog! #LOL

[Johan Gouws @Johan_Gouws]

@Vodacom111 finally got signal found out im not the only one seems to be working fine now. Thanks

[Johan Gouws @Johan_Gouws]

@Vodacom111 are the signal issues in hartbeespoort sorted..keep getting and losing 3G and HSDPA and then no internet at all

[Bill Fienberg @BillFienberg]

If my dog could talk, I think he'd say, "I don't appreciate it when you tell me that there's a squirrel outside, when there clearly isn't."

[Johan Gouws @Johan_Gouws]

@SamsungMobileSA @GooglePlay still no bbm in the playstore on my galaxy s4

[@Shezza @SherrinGrimanis]

RT @LifeisSavage: RT this if you want @justinbieber to ask his followers to help get 1 million #iam4rhinos tweets to save our rhinos

[Johan Gouws @Johan_Gouws]

@baldwin_bm thats why i cant wait for bbm for iphone and android

[Johan Gouws @Johan_Gouws]

@FNBSA I dont know who these people are that like your steve ads,but every time I hear 1 on the radio I contemplate suicide...

[Johan Gouws @Johan_Gouws]

"@mtvza: To promote Season 5 of @mtvgeordieshore (1st Oct 21:15 CAT, DSTV 130) we're bringing @HollyGShore & @ScottGShore @CGHammann

[Johan Gouws @Johan_Gouws]

@WihanVDB @HollyGShore & @ScottGShore of #GeordieShore 2party with @mtvza #MTVChoice at #H2OAfrica! Time 2dish out lessons in jol, #H2OFam?"

[Johan Gouws @Johan_Gouws]

@Bethboooxxx V is a Roman numeral for 5...eg V and 5 are the same thing

[Johan Gouws @Johan_Gouws]

@Rob_Vember broke numerous playstation 2 remotes when i just couldnt complete levels in certain games

[Johan Gouws @Johan_Gouws]

Hate it when @Dylan_Paterson is on supersport 7.football hooligan...