Johann Magerman

[Moshe @Moshe_Meso]

XHOSA NAMES

THE APOLOGIES - Xoliswa. Luxolo. Noxolo. Xolani. Xolelwa. Xolisa. Xola. Mxolisi. Nomxolisi

THE ENOUGHS - kwanele. Zanele. Banele. Anele. Sanele. Sanelisiwe. Nelisiwe.

THE FUTURE - kamva. Nangamso. Miso.

THE WELCOMES - Simamkele. Samkele. Samkelisiwe.Yamkela

THE HOSPITALS - Phila. Philiswa. Philani

THE INCREASE - Wanda. Zenande. Andile. Yandiswa. Zandiswa. Zandile. Anda. Mandisa. Nokwanda. Luyanda. Sisanda. Ziyanda. Bayanda

THE SHUT UPS - Thulani. Thuliswa. Nokthula. Athule

THE BEAUTIFULS - Zintle. Sihle. Esihle. Buhle. Lihle. Asemahle. Sbahle

THE WAITING LIST - Linda. Lindani. Lindikhaya. Lindiswa. Lindelwa. Lindokuhle.

THE CALM - Azola. Zolile. Zolisa. Zolani. Zola. Nokuzola

ESKOM GANG - Khanya. Khanyisa. Kwakhanya. Lisakhanya. Nonkanyiso.

THE WORSHIP TEAM - Dumisa. Dumisani. Zukisa. Zukiswa. Zukisani. Dunyiswa

THE HUMBLE CREW - Lulama. Lulamile. Thobile. Thobeka. Thobekile.

THE PROMISE RINGS - Sthembiso. Thembani.Thembela. Themba. Thembile. Thembakazi.

THE GRATEFUL GANG - Mbulelo. Bulelani. Sbulele. Bulelwa. Bulela. Bonga.Bongiwe. Bongeka. Abongile. Bongani. Bongiswa

THE LOVE CHILDREN - Thando. Luthando. Thandokazi. Noluthando. Thandiwe. Thandeka. Thandolwethu

THE EYES OF THE COMMUNITY - Liso. Noliso. Lisolwethu. Nosolwethu. Solabantu. Lisokuhle. Bonani. Qaphela. Boniswa. Bonelwa

THE BLESSED CREW - Babalwa. Lubabalo. Babalo. Nolubabalo. Sikelela. Ntsikelelo. Sikelelwa.

THE HAPPY CREW - Lonwabo. Nwabisa. Monwabisi. Sonwabo. Ncumisa. Vuyo. Mincili. Mivuyo. Vuyelwa. Vuyiswa. Vuyani. Noluvuyo. Vuyolwethu. Mihlali. Sinovuyo.

THE HELPERS - Mcedisi. Mncedi. Nomncedisi. Ncediswa. Ncedo.

THE PRESENT GANG - Akhona. Zikhona. Sikho. Zikho. Sikhona

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am a diplomatic aide in the Sultanate of Oman's Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

My job is logistics. When two countries that cannot speak to each other need to speak to each other, I book the rooms. I prepare the briefing materials. I make sure the water glasses are the right distance apart. You would be surprised how much of diplomacy is water glasses. Too close and it feels informal. Too far and it feels like a tribunal. I have a chart.

We had a very good month.

Since January, Oman has been mediating indirect talks between the United States and Iran on Iran's nuclear program. The talks were held in Muscat and in Geneva. The Americans would sit in one room. The Iranians would sit in another room. I would walk between them. My Fitbit says I averaged fourteen thousand steps on negotiation days. The hallway between the two rooms at the Royal Opera House conference center is forty-seven meters. I walked it two hundred and twelve times in February. This is good for my cardiovascular health. It was less good for my knees. Both are in the service of peace.

By mid-February, we had something.

Iran agreed to zero stockpiling of enriched uranium. Not reduced stockpiling. Zero. They agreed to down-blend existing stockpiles to the lowest possible level. They agreed to convert them into irreversible fuel. They agreed to full IAEA verification with potential US inspector access. They agreed, in the Foreign Minister's phrase, to "never, ever" possess nuclear material for a bomb. I have worked in diplomacy for seven years. I have never seen a country agree to this many things this quickly. I made a spreadsheet of the concessions. It had fourteen rows. I color-coded it. Green for confirmed. Yellow for pending. By February 21 the spreadsheet was entirely green. I printed it. It is on my desk in Muscat. It is still green.

That phrase took eleven days. "Never, ever." The Iranians initially offered "not seek to." The Americans wanted "will not under any circumstances." We landed on "never, ever" at 2:14 AM on a Tuesday in Muscat. I typed the final version myself. I used Times New Roman because Geneva prefers it. The document was fourteen pages. I was proud of every comma.

Here is what they said, in the order they said it.

February 24: "We have a once-in-a-generation opportunity." — The Foreign Minister, private briefing to Gulf Cooperation Council ambassadors. I prepared the slide deck. Slide 14 was the implementation timeline. Slide 15 was the signing ceremony logistics. I had reserved the Palais des Nations in Geneva, Room XX. It seats four hundred. We discussed pen brands for the signing. The Iranians preferred Montblanc. The Americans had no preference. I ordered twelve Montblanc Meisterstucks at six hundred and thirty dollars each. They arrive on Tuesday.

February 27, 8:30 AM EST: "The deal is within our reach." — The Foreign Minister, CBS Face the Nation. He sat across from Margaret Brennan. He said broad political terms could be agreed "tomorrow" with ninety days for technical implementation in Vienna. He said, and I wrote this line for the briefing card he carried in his breast pocket: "If we just allow diplomacy the space it needs." He praised the American envoys by name. Steve Witkoff. Jared Kushner. He said both had been constructive.

I watched from the Four Seasons Georgetown. The minibar had cashews. I ate the cashews. They were nineteen dollars. The most expensive cashew I have ever eaten. But it was a good morning and we were within our reach.

February 27, 2:00 PM EST: Meeting with Vice President Vance, Washington. The Foreign Minister presented our progress. Zero stockpiling. Full verification. Irreversible conversion. "Never, ever." The Vice President used the word "encouraging." His aide took notes on an iPad. The aide did not make eye contact for the last nine minutes of the meeting. I noticed this. Noticing things is the only part of my job that is not water glasses.

February 27, 4:00 PM EST: "Not happy with the pace." — President Trump, to reporters.

Not happy with the pace.

We had achieved zero stockpiling. Full IAEA verification. Irreversible fuel conversion. Inspector access. And the phrase "never, ever," which took eleven days and cost me two hundred and twelve trips down a forty-seven-meter hallway.

Every American president since Carter has failed to get Iran to agree to this. Forty-five years.

Not happy with the pace.

February 27, 9:47 PM EST: The Foreign Minister's flight departs Dulles for Muscat. I am in the seat behind him. He is reviewing Slide 14 on his laptop. The implementation timeline. Vienna technical sessions. The signing ceremony. The pens.

I fall asleep over the Atlantic. I dream about water glasses.

February 28, 6:00 AM GST: I wake up to push notifications.

February 28: "The United States has begun major combat operations in Iran." — President Trump.

Operation Epic Fury. Coordinated airstrikes. The United States and Israel. Tehran. Isfahan. Qom. Karaj. Kermanshah. Nuclear facilities. IRGC bases. Sites near the Supreme Leader's office. Israel called their half Operation Roaring Lion. Someone in both governments spent time choosing these names. Epic Fury. Roaring Lion. I spent eleven days on "never, ever." They spent it on branding. The President said Iran had "rejected American calls to halt its nuclear weapons production."

Rejected.

Iran had agreed to zero stockpiling. Iran had agreed to full verification. Iran had agreed to "never, ever." Iran had agreed to everything in a fourteen-page document that I typed in Times New Roman.

The President said they rejected it.

I do not know which document the President was reading. I know which one I typed.

February 28, 18:45 UTC: Iran internet connectivity: four percent. — NetBlocks, confirmed by Cloudflare. Ninety-six percent of a country went dark. You cannot negotiate with a country at four percent connectivity. You cannot negotiate with a country that is being struck. You cannot negotiate. This is not a political opinion. This is a logistics assessment.

February 28: The governor of Minab reported forty girls killed at an elementary school.

I do not have logistics for that. There is no slide for that. The water glass chart does not cover that.

February 28: Lockheed Martin: up. Northrop Grumman: up. RTX: up. Dow futures: down six hundred and twenty-two points. Gold: five thousand two hundred and ninety-six dollars. An analyst at AInvest published a note titled "Iran Strikes: Tactical Plays." The note recommended positions in oil, defense stocks, and gold.

The most expensive cashew I have ever eaten was nineteen dollars. The most expensive pen I have ever ordered was six hundred and thirty dollars. The math suggests I have been working in the wrong industry. Defense stocks do not require water glasses. Defense stocks do not require eleven days. Defense stocks require one morning.

February 28: Israel closed its airspace and its schools. Iran launched retaliatory missiles toward US bases in the Gulf. The Supreme Leader promised a "crushing response." Israel's defense minister declared a permanent state of emergency. Everyone is using words I recognize in an order I do not. I recognize "permanent." I recognize "emergency." I do not recognize them next to each other. In diplomacy, nothing is permanent and everything is an emergency. In war it is the reverse.

February 28: The Foreign Minister has not made a public statement.

The briefing card is still in his breast pocket. It still says "within our reach."

[Malcolm Nance @MalcolmNance]

CONSEQUENCES FOR DUMBASSES: You are an F'ing idiot. If we invade Greenland we go to war with 31 nations. NATO stays together but without us. Its HQ is in Brussels, not the Pentagon. Our global reach across the Atlantic will end with our closest refueling base in Israel or Egypt. 100,000 American soldiers will be forced to board civil airliners and sent home or be taken as POWs/Detainee sWITHOUT WEAPONS OR EQUIPMENT. Canada will close its airspace and sea space. US Ballistic Missile Defense at Pettufik and Fylingdales ENDS, which means we see nothing except what space sensors can see. US Intelligence is reduced to Fort Meade, Ft Gordon and Colorado Springs and Hawaii. CIA spies will be rolled up by their former friends in HOURS. NO ONE WILL SHARE ANYTHING WITH US. ALL GLOBAL SHIPPING WILL BE CLOSED TO US. Denmark operates the largest shipping company in the world. SIX OUT OF TEN global shipping companies are in Europe ... Worlds Biggest container ships? DENMARK!
Australia, NZ, Canada are Commonwealth so they will cut ties with us or be neutral too.

PS Denmark & locals tun all life support and generators at Pittufik and Canada resupplies it ... all 150 US Spece force personnel would become POWs to guys on sleds. FYI They have troops there now and 35,000 Caribou hunting rifles.
FYI France and UK have nukes. Hundreds of them so you cannot intimidate them with that.
Oh and they collapse the US economy by sanctioning us and selling off 2.3 Trillion in US treasuries simultaneously. Also no Botox, Ozempic or insulin. Its made in Denmark.
Ya fucking dope.

[Johann Magerman @JohannMagerman]

@LingDeeYoh Deepest condolences on this terrible loss. Love and light. 💔🙏

[Sizwe SikaMusi @SizweLo]

The Democratic Alliance government in Cape Town has committed R3.3 billion of public money to a water purification scheme using public funds, and now they want to privatise it.

[Thread]

[Johann Magerman @JohannMagerman]

Charlie Kirk was a rabid, racist misogynist who only now fully comprehends God's unmerited favour and unconditional love. Don't be like Charlie.

[Johann Magerman @JohannMagerman]

@Win_about_2_sin That's okay. The other day, a young 30-something year-old called me "Oupa". 🙊

[Johann Magerman @JohannMagerman]

@digitaldion @VUamsterdam Baie geluk, Prof!

[Johann Magerman @JohannMagerman]

@Win_about_2_sin Happy belated birthday Win. 🎉🎈

[Fleming Rutledge @flemingrut]

THis is worth a very careful reading and rereading. I didn't get with it at first but the sections on 1) the Bible talking with itself and 2) the whole discussion of Jesus' uniqueness are simply breathtaking. I'll keep this.
https://t.co/M2tI1K18M1

[Johann Magerman @JohannMagerman]

@CarloTebza Happy birthday Carlo! God bless! 🎊🎉🙏

[Johann Magerman @JohannMagerman]

Thank you for this delightful thread. I'm thinking that most of us will never have their names in bold, but hopefully be a footnote in someone's story.

[Wednesday @Win_about_2_sin]

I quickly wana talk about ABBA short🧵
Did you know, what makes ABBA songs so memorable is not really the catchy melodies or the vocal harmonies...but instead the bass lines. Nobody realizes it until they do. Most of their bass lines were written by one of the most underrated...

[Johann Magerman @JohannMagerman]

@LingDeeYoh Happy birthday! God bless and take care! 🎊🙏

[Redi Tlhabi @RediTlhabi]

Been trying to figure out what got Paul Kagame so aggressive and angry over this seemingly mild tweet by our president. A few things standout: 1) Calling Rwanda's military "militia." It delegitimizes the army of another country. A military man like Kagame will not like that. 2)

[Johann Magerman @JohannMagerman]

@DennisCruywagen Likewise Dennis. Merry Christmas 🎄 to you and your family!

[Marissa Franks Burt @MBurtwrites]

🧵This is a great point.

I'm a novelist, & when you write a story you construct setting, characterization, plot, etc. to show-not-tell your point. The biblical authors are master storytellers. They are not spinning made-up tales, but they are making story-telling choices.

[Quack Pirihi 🇵🇸 @quackpirihi]

Here’s what is happening in Aotearoa New Zealand with the Haka, and Te Tiriti o Waitangi.

The Indigenous Sovereignty movement in Aotearoa. A thread 🧵

[Be A King @BerniceKing]

Jesus, You’re The Center of My Joy!

#MySource

[Hend F Q @LadyVelvet_HFQ]

The Will of Yahya Sinwar:

I am Yahya, the son of the refugee who turned exile into a temporary homeland, and turned the dream into an eternal battle.

As I write these words, I recall every moment that has passed in my life: from my childhood in the alleys, to the long years of imprisonment, to every drop of blood that was shed on the soil of this land.

I was born in Khan Yunis camp in 1962, at a time when Palestine was a torn memory and forgotten maps on the tables of politicians.

I am the man who wove his life between fire and ashes, and realized early on that life under occupation means nothing but permanent imprisonment.

I knew from a young age that life in this land is not ordinary, and that whoever is born here must carry in his heart an unbreakable weapon, and realize that the road to freedom is long.

[Hend F Q @LadyVelvet_HFQ]

My will to you begins here, from that child who threw the first stone at the occupier, and who learned that stones are the first words we utter in the face of the world that stands silently in front of our wound.

I learned in the streets of Gaza that a person is not measured by the years of his life, but by what he gives to his country. And that was my life: prisons and battles, pain and hope.

I entered prison for the first time in 1988, and I was sentenced to life imprisonment, but I did not know the way to fear.

In those dark cells, I saw in every wall a window to the distant horizon, and in every bar a light illuminating the path to freedom.

In prison, I learned that patience is not just a virtue, but a weapon.. a bitter weapon, like someone who drinks the sea drop by drop.

My advice to you: Do not fear prisons, for they are only part of our long path to freedom.

Prison taught me that freedom is not just a stolen right, but an idea born from pain and refined by patience. When I was released in the “Wafa al-Ahrar” deal in 2011, I did not leave as I was; I left stronger and my faith increased that what we are doing is not just a passing struggle, but rather our destiny that we carry until the last drop of our blood.