John Fitzsimmons

Former financial adviser to Sir David Murray.

[𐡀 @Xyleniqq]

My neighbor, Ed, was ninety one. Lived alone. Had a cat named Mr. Buttons.

Ed died three weeks ago. Heart attack. Quiet. Quick.

I didn't know him well. We'd wave. Small talk about the weather. That's it.

Two days after he died, there's a knock on my door.

It's Ed's daughter. I'd never met her.

Ed's daughter: Hi. I'm Rachel. Ed's daughter.

Me: Oh. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Rachel: Thank you. I'm here about the cat.

Me: The cat?

Rachel: Mr. Buttons. My dad left instructions. He wanted you to take him.

Me: What?

Rachel: He left a note. Said you were the only person on the street who didn't hate the cat.

Me: I don't even know the cat.

Rachel: Apparently you fed him once.

I tried to remember. Then it clicked.

Six months ago, Ed was out of town. He asked if I'd feed Mr. Buttons for two days. I said yes. I fed the cat. That was it.

Me: I fed him one time.

Rachel: Well, he left the cat to you.

Me: I don't want a cat.

Rachel: Neither do I. I'm allergic.

Me: So take him to a shelter.

Rachel: He's eighteen years old. No one's going to adopt him.

Me: That's not my problem.

Rachel: Please. I'll pay for his food. I just need someone to take him.

My wife appeared behind me.

My wife: We'll take him.

Me: What?

My wife: We'll take the cat.

Rachel looked relieved.

Rachel: Really?

My wife: Yes. Bring him over.

Rachel left. I turned to my wife.

Me: We're not cat people.

My wife: Ed left you his cat. We're taking the cat.

Me: I don't want a cat.

My wife: Too bad.

An hour later, Rachel showed up with Mr. Buttons. He's the ugliest cat I've ever seen. One eye. Half a tail. Looks like he lost a fight with a lawnmower.

Rachel: He's very sweet.

She handed me a carrier and left.

I put the carrier in the living room and opened it.

Mr. Buttons walked out, looked at me, and hissed.

Me: Great.

For three days, the cat hid under the couch. Wouldn't eat. Wouldn't come out.

My wife: Maybe he's grieving.

Me: He's a cat.

My wife: Cats grieve.

On day four, I'm sitting on the couch watching TV and Mr. Buttons jumps up next to me.

Just sits there.

I didn't move.

He curled up and fell asleep.

Now he follows me everywhere. Kitchen. Garage. Bathroom.

My wife thinks it's hilarious.

My wife: He loves you.

Me: I don't love him.

My wife: Yes you do.

Last week I took him to the vet. Spent $300 on bloodwork.

The vet said he's in good shape for eighteen.

I told my wife.

My wife: See? He's going to be around for a while.

Me: That's not comforting.

Yesterday I caught myself talking to him.

Me: You want dinner?

Mr. Buttons meowed.

Me: Yeah, me too.

My wife walked in.

My wife: Are you talking to the cat?

Me: No.

She smiled.

I'm a cat person now.

I hate it.

[JPCampbellBiz @JP_Biz]

Misty Mournes

[Ewan Gibbs @ewangibbs]

Rupert Lowe's dismissal of the Dunblane massacre is appalling and disgusting. It's also a reminder that the far-right is festering with weird and unpopular ideas that have no popular resonance. There is no clamouring for mass gun ownership in Britain. Quite the opposite.

[Chris Kane MP @chriswkane]

Today in Parliament, I raised a point of order following disgraceful remarks made by Rupert Lowe MP on a podcast.

[𝐂𝐞𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐄𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 🍀 @CelticEssential]

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐞𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐦? 🍀

9 years ago, Celtic officially unveiled plans for an £18m complex to transform the East End. Fast forward to today... what happened?

[Drop Site @DropSiteNews]

⚠️The Egyptian Relief Committee in Gaza had been organizing public screenings of World Cup matches for displaced families across the Strip. About an hour before today’s Egypt-Argentina match, Israel killed the committee’s public relations director in a strike on his vehicle. Two others, including a child, were also killed.

[Ewan Gibbs @ewangibbs]

It’s plausible to think of New Labour as Britain’s perestroika and I won’t be unseeing it now.

[єℓαιηє @elainesim28]

Be thankful it's not snowing.
Imagine shovelling snow
in this heat.

[J. 🇭🇷 @JosipFCB93]

FIFA is pathetic for just allowing things like this to happen like its nothing

[The Ayrshire Separatist @DanielJMath1]

Mike is a reminder that even though Trump and his bootlickers are trying their best to destroy the world, that the real sane Americans are fucking brilliant people with great hearts. X

[Football Away Days @FBAwayDays]

A spine tingling rendition of Flower of Scotland being belted out by The Tartan Army, before their first World Cup Finals game in 28 years.

A moment that many have waited a lifetime for. 🥹🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿❤️

[Liam McIlvanney @LiamMcIlvanney]

May have watched this three or four times. Per hour. So good…🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[Wu Tang is for the Children @WUTangKids]

Lmao amazing 🤣

[Ryan Cummings @Pol_Sec_Analyst]

Thirty years apart, Salma Hayek still looks good posing with a snake

[TV Football 1968-92 @1968Tv]

The most violent World Cup match of all-time. Italy v Chile from 1962, which was dubbed ‘The Battle Of Santiago’
Commentator David Coleman
#WorldCup #FIFAWorldCup #Italy #Chile

[World Cup HQ @WorldCup26HQ]

🚨 FIFA president Gianni Infantino taking a corner.

[John Fitzsimmons @JohnFitzsimmon1]

@timmalloy70 @RaminNasibov Never read anything quite as brutal.

[Gary Bhoy @timmalloy70]

@RaminNasibov

[George Connelly: Far From The Madding Crowd @GConnellyFilm]

“There’s a huge amount of hope and joy in this story” Producer/Director Ged Fitzsimmons @CosmicCatFilms spoke to @LucyJWhyte for @BBCScotland about the George Connelly film. We’re nearly halfway to our goal, please support us this weekend! Help us finish telling George’s story: https://t.co/MU3yHpJkjZ

#celtic

[John Fitzsimmons @JohnFitzsimmon1]

Polite reminder Bob doesn't speak for all Professors.

[Prof Bob Davis @Rokewood]

Polite reminder that none of these groups speaks for all Celtic fans https://t.co/xF5XWYM2GI