john pazda

what’s cooler than being cool?

[Phil Kennedy @PhillipAKennedy]

Best I can do is change the names of shit

[Jonathan Snowden @JESnowden]

What's my main political issue?

I'm glad you asked.

It's men playing in a women's pro basketball league.

Are there any men playing women's basketball in the pros or for a major college you ask?

No.

Do I watch women's basketball?

Also no.

But, what if?

[Brian Tashman @briantashman]

- Palestinian woman reports an attempted attack on her home

- Israeli settler “posted footage of the incident” on WhatsApp to brag about committing the attack

- Israel *arrests the woman* whose home was attacked

This is what Democrats and Republicans want you to bankroll

[michael hess @mchlhess]

started using the ChatGPT iMessage connector with my hinge dates. going well so far

[BENZO-KAZOOIE @BENZOTOOIE]

POV: You’re a 3 month old whose mom is about to start crying and saying how much she hates you

[_s.a.m.e.m.e.m.e_ @st_louis_stan]

POV you come home and wifey's filming one of her "crying at the phone" videos again

[Niggapokemon333 @willsgardevoir]

Got no change sorry brotha

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

Wearing my “I WOULD NEVER FUCK A KID” sweatshirt to the toddlers birthday party so everyone can feel safe

[Jesse @d0wnsideofme]

what would possess anyone to record this video?

[Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood]

SpongeBob HUSSEIN SquarePants

[Jim @centristjim1]

Does anyone else get really bad headaches in this heat?

And before anyone says “you need to drink more”…

I’ve already had two cans of monster and an iced coffee today, so it’s not that.

[maybe: xavier (nba champ new york knicks enjoyer) @couldbexav]

protestant nonsense. some good ol fashioned catholic guilt woulda got this kid outta the inning instead of giving up a four spot and eventually getting his team eliminated.

[bekah @grandtheftnjh]

this is how a lot of you move

[koof @mattkeef40]

we’re living by the 24-hour in a day concept invented by cavemen 300 years ago. what i’ve done is i’ve manipulated time

6am–12pm: day 1
12pm–6pm: day 2
6pm–12am: day 3

7 days a week, i get 21. stack that over a year and you’re toast

stop living on caveman time

[Pierre L’Fauex @LFauexProd]

“So the blood will be there.”

[Sam Steffanina @SamSteffanina]

nintendo lawyers having an aneurism as we speak

[Nathan Halberstadt 🧊 @NatHalberstadt]

You can just do things

[chuck bass’s cousin @pedri69420]

Dude was straight living in a vape shop

[Roy “Bricked” Jones CPA, MBA @BrickedJones]

Tarik Skubal meeting his new teammate Shohei Ohtani (2026)