Johnny F. Monotone

Semi-amateur demotivational speaker and wheelie bin enthusiast from North Stainley.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

People often ask me where I get my material from. Mainly charity shops.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

Today I was asked to leave a restaurant because they thought I had no way of paying. I was very offended. I was... http://t.co/OwEfVvMc8T

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

Hello. This is my new page. I had to make it as Facebook didn't think I was real, like the Bin Fairy. The Bin... http://t.co/kf8DDh1baN

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

It's either getting darker earlier or I am getting up later. My watch is broken so we will never know.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

It's been a while. I would ask how you are but we both know the answer to that don't we.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

It's too hot today. It smells like someone died in my shed. They didn't. The doctors said they would live. I was cleared of all wrongdoing.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

Hello. How are you? I am fine. Who lives in a house like this? If you, give me a wave.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

RT @sebbloomfield: Belated #ff invitation for new #BloomComCol members @JustLikeLew @LiberteNoir @PeakeTheGeek @TheFrankAstaire & @mrshyiam

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

My thought for the day: Judge not lest ye be judged. Unless you are a judge. Though making unpopular judgements will make people judge you.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

People ask what qualifies me to be a Messiah. What qualifies anyone? Nothing. From nothing we come and to nothing we return. Silence Is. *_*

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

My children, for today's Monatonism lesson let us read from Monotone's first letter to the district council. 1:1 "To whom it may concern..."

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

By the way, for those of you who missed the message, I am the messiah now. Just so you know. *_*

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

I am currently in Market Harborough as a guest of Ship of Fools. I am going to to convert the masses to Monotanism. Watch this space *_*

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

I have moved sheds recently and now live with a lovely family of bikes. I'm joking. Bikes are quite spiteful. Moved sheds though *_*

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

EGBDF. Unless they are allergic to fudge. No boy deserves to be force-fed something they are allergic to. Even if they have been good. *_*

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

My favorite acronym is SSAEDB. Successful Stockbrokers Always Eat Divestive Biscuits. It's both poignant and true.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

Fact of the day: The word ACRONYM is actually an acronym. It stands for Always CRONYM. I try my best to but it's not always possible.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

In the park today, talking to strangers. I like to think I make a difference to the day of every jogger. I certainly make them run faster.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

Hello. I am at this tonight: https://t.co/iqjalyKsM6. It's in Manchester. This happened in Manchester: http://t.co/P7uJv2W82O. Be there.

[Johnny F. Monotone @JohnnyFMonotone]

If you're in Newcastle on the 9th we have something in common. I will be too. At this. https://t.co/EP9kjeERG7. You should come to this *_*