Johnny Newhouse

Built like a steakhouse, handles like a bistro

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

Update: I saw this before realizing it was a joke about NFT’s. As a 27 year old I was genuinely excited about special Bionicle profile pictures.

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

Dennis the Menace is fine.
Watch out for Kendra the Repeat Offendra!

[Mike Abrusci @mikeabrusci]

Watching the first 15 minutes of Fight Club until I get the message that buying stuff is really cool and makes you feel good then watching tik toks on full volume for the rest of the movie

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

Aggressively playing PokémonGo trying to earn my virginity back.

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

Carnivore diet?
You mean boy dinner

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

I’ve heard rumors that our security cameras at work record audio.
If they review the footage of me working by myself their gonna hear some UNHINGED stuff.

Like sometimes I say what the frick under my breath.

[Mike Abrusci @mikeabrusci]

Just found out that clothing brand Nirvana made some music too! What can’t they do?

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

I want a Bluey episode where the dad goes to the bar with his mates and just says ‘Cunt’ all night
#Bluey

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

I’ve been chill about soloing Thailand for like a month and a half.
It’s close now and I’m STRESSIN’ Lolol

[female dennis reynolds @FlVESTARWOMAN]

obsessed with whatever the fuck glenn howerton does to every dennis line

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

A taco truck moving in my neighborhood has been such a life changer. Good god the Al pastor and Birria is killer

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

Finally got sent one of those ‘you’ll think of me when you’re with your boring wife’ TikTok’s.
I was blindsided but also flattered!😅

[toxic king @toxicking]

Her: Lemme see that Dick

Me: Bitch it’s cold ion even got it on me

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

I went from having a complete disinterest in tattoos to wanting to fill an American traditional patchwork sleeve.
I am potentially one of those people.
Still hurts like a fuckin bitch though.

[donald boat @laserboat999]

(Getting defensive) Clown college has a lot of really fucking cool electives actually

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

Taught my dog this new trick where I yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and he keeps barking as loud as he can.

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

@jarjarbot1 translate

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

Spotify Wrapped went from a nice surprise in December to an advertised special event.
Feels kind of less cool.

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

@_Cam66 @jarjarbot1 translate

[Johnny Newhouse @JohnnyNewhouse2]

@itsbeebiiiitch @jarjarbot1 translate