Jonathan but ghost

and he saw a hundred ghosts bearing birthday gifts

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

i know posting this defeats the point but all you have to do is stop coming here. do -anything- else. if you are still here then you are addicted to the numbers and I hope you manage to break free

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

I am enjoying writing as myself on social media for the first time in years. It is stupid and maybe not good but I am having a nice time. https://t.co/NyFX3kNnPW

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

Waterstones hit me up I’ll make your Threads good. jk please don’t

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

I’m here now trying to relive the good days of Twitter and find another wife but please don’t tell my wife that I said that https://t.co/NyFX3kNnPW

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

Also might resurrect Horrorscopes on Threads and get another book deal and sell 400 copies and never talk to anyone in publishing again?!

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

As the world cracked, a smaller world emerged. It too broke open, revealing a molten husk that never felt like developing life.

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

Breaking Bad is the story of how a good man turns evil for example in the very first episode he kills two people and in the second he dissolves a body in an acid bath

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

Elon thinks this is fun and everyone is having fun with him and that dril is his friend

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

@NicholaMayer You are one of about 400. Thank you.

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

I got a book deal for this account once! Like every other Twitter book, it sold badly and disappeared forever.

[Horrorscopes @Horrorsc0pes]

2050. Twitter is Musk. Musk is Twitter. Merged. Incomprehensible. Tweeting his jokes. Local children visit, daring each other to get closer before running away. He tweets his jokes. The thousands of souls trapped inside laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

@AVWoman Thank you, that was very fun. A surprising amount of people were taken in by it.

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

The picture is gone but this is the first thread from this account that went viral. This site is bad but the family and career I lucked into because of it are good.

[WaterstonesTCR @WaterstonesTCR]

I saw the apostrophe on my way to work this morning. It's not looking too well.

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

Muldoon flirting with a librarian: Hey babe are you a velociraptor or are you just a clever girl?

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

It is reasonable that Boris Johnson won’t return, so he definitely will.

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

My only rule over the last four years has been ‘if it’s reasonable, it won’t happen.’

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

Just a regular press conference, shot by a Dalek, fall behind podium, Rishi Sunak stands up, Daily Mail goes mad about a woke Doctor Who.

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

They should decide the next PM before they quit so they can film a Doctor Who style regeneration sequence for Children in Need.

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

This might be my best ever birthday.

[Victoria OB @VictoriaOB_]

Couldn’t have wished for a better birthday gift for @JonathanOB_. Except of course for global peace and stability but y’know, baby steps.

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, the last few weeks show us there’s still time for her to u-turn on this.

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

Husband with her, she’s gone.

[Jonathan but ghost @JonathanOB_]

This isn’t funny, actually. Tories only do this when they’re very upset.