Jordan.

➰Psalms 37:4➰

[ESPN UK @ESPNUK]

The first ever Heavy Metal Knitting World Championships have taken place in Finland.

This is probably the strangest thing you'll see today.

[Angela Kinsey🍩 @AngelaKinsey]

“Nothing is sexier to me than good planning.” I said that today. Out loud. So... 👵🏻

[Gus Kenworthy @guskenworthy]

when someone tells you they read the book before seeing the movie

[Kibble. @95established]

Since the government is shut down can I walk into Area 51

[Noel 🇵🇷 @NoelSznn]

*Spends days with her *

Me:” I’m about to go home”

Her:
https://t.co/pLj3QBLPPG

[Jordan. @JordanBauer44]

Getting ready for my last 24 hours of call with coffee and a tasty cake 😏🤪

[keaton bell @keatonkildebell]

We don't talk enough about that time the 2011 Emmy nominees for Best Actress In A Comedy Series (Amy Poehler, Melissa McCarthy, Martha Plimpton, Edie Falco, Tina Fey, & Laura Linney) all pretended that they were in a pageant & ran onstage when their names were announced.

[Jordan. @JordanBauer44]

Need a buffalo chicken salad to save my soul from this call shift 🤷🏼‍♀️😴

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

the human said. they might make pancakes in the morning. so the faster i fall asleep. the sooner i get a pancake. as you can imagine. it’s hard to snoozle. under so much pressure

[Jordan. @JordanBauer44]

Blue moon saves lives

[Jordan. @JordanBauer44]

You know it was a good workout when it hurts to hold your cup of coffee 😂🏋🏼‍♀️👍🏼

[Jordan. @JordanBauer44]

@Elisadelorenzo Cotton eyed joe - rednex. Hope this helps 😂

[Jordan. @JordanBauer44]

2 hour yoga class with wine?! Yes please 😍🍷

[Michael Gary Scott, Dunder Mifflin (Parody) @Da_MichaelScott]

You know how they say take a chill pill? In Jamaica I took one. A guy at the beach sold it to me. Forty bucks.

[Jordan. @JordanBauer44]

@taybau3 You weren’t even in the uber you ninny

[Jordan. @JordanBauer44]

Ever cancelled an Uber, while in the Uber? Bc I just did 😂

[Jordan. @JordanBauer44]

The Office is even more funny when you’ve slept for 4 hours, and got called into to work at 0330 😂 happy freaking Sunday

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

sometimes. the human presses their noggin against mine. to figure out what i’m thinking. so i just think really hard. about how much i love them. and hope they figure it out