Love after 25 is different. You’re not looking for sparks. You’re looking for stability, kindness and shared goals. You’ve outgrown games and butterflies. You’re craving peace, emotional safety, and someone whose future aligns with yours.
Chow who had a history of shooting at customers. Chased down a 14 year old who hadn’t stolen anything. Shot him in the back. Then had his son lie about having a gun pointed at him. It worked because black people’s lives aren’t worth even a $1 water bottle in this country. So if you are one of those people who like to say well all lives matter just know you are lying to yourself and you know it.
Being in a healthy relationship really taught me there's no such thing as 'that's just the way I am'. When you truly love someone you work on those toxic traits, you learn to communicate, you actively listen to each others thoughts & feelings – you adjust, grow & heal together.
My man said something to me that really stuck.
He told me, “I’m not actually here to control you. I’m not your dad, I’m your partner. You’re free to make your own choices. Just understand that every choice has consequences. If you choose something that damages what we’ve built, that’s on you.”
He said, “I’ll always tell you when something hurts me or crosses a boundary, because that’s what healthy communication looks like. But if you keep stepping over the line after I’ve shown you where it is, then you were never really protecting us to begin with.”
And honestly, that’s what accountability in a relationship sounds like.
I always say happiness over history. If a man has repeatedly shown you pain, inconsistency, disrespect or emotional confusion, your history together is not enough reason to stay. Familiarity is not the same thing as peace