Jordon Acker

Actress. Writer. Slytherin. Can most likely be found crying in Brooklyn. 🏳️‍🌈 She/her.

[Jordon Acker @JordonAcker]

You know what I miss about college?
House parties.
Adult life just doesn’t provide enough opportunities for making out with people against refrigerators.

[Jordon Acker @JordonAcker]

@jennatonelli Or career ending 😰

[pettybachnation @pettybachnation]

When a white man says this you know he is being absolutely SERIOUS #TheBachelor

[Olive is watching The Bachelorette @floribombshell]

#TheBachelor finale in a nutshell:

[CLK @klc1977]

Broken nail, Broken heart. #TheBachelor

[Jordon Acker @JordonAcker]

Listen @BachelorABC I came here to laugh and gasp, not sob

[the bitchelorette @Bitchelorette_]

Clayton: I wish someone would tell me the truth about Shanae

everyone: Shanae is absolutely awful

Clayton:

#thebachelor

[Jenna Tonelli @jennatonelli]

Never forget 🤩

[🌹 @bachshit_crazy]

Clayton: “has anyone ever taken back a rose?”
Jesse:
#TheBachelor

[Jordon Acker @JordonAcker]

@kaleysgreen But he’s so toxic!!! Like yeah he’s charming but if I had a friend who was dating him I would hold an intervention lol

[Jordon Acker @JordonAcker]

Does anyone actually watch HIMYM and want good things for Ted Mosby?

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” it’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient

[LN @abernothing]

party rock is in the HOUSE tonight guys. not in the clubs

[Jordon Acker @JordonAcker]

When you pick up your phone and find out about yet *another* @NWSL trade

[Michael Harriot @michaelharriot]

Ticketmaster be like:

Concert ticket: $40
Venue fee: 21.32
Access fee $18.32
Paperless transmission fee: $12.03
Fee Fee: $8.84
Fi Fo Fum: $3.43
Cuz We Can Fee: $2.01
Might as well fee: $1.89
WTF you gonna do nigga, not go? fee: $1.38
Another dollar won’t hurt nobody fee: $1.00

[Jordon Acker @JordonAcker]

THATS MY FIANCÉE @rnbwrobinhood

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

No offense to the Von Trapps but if I go to a lavish party and seven kids just start singing about how they have to go to bed, I’m using that time to refill my drink.

[Jordon Acker @JordonAcker]

@jessicamorrow23 “Would you rather raise a misogynist or a @Yankees fan?”
Me: “really what’s the difference?”

[Jordon Acker @JordonAcker]

Love coming to a @Rangers @Yankees game and listening to the Yankees fans behind us be homophobic and sexist. Love it. So cool. @yankeestadium

[Jordon Acker @JordonAcker]

I’m just a simple bisexual trying to realize her dream of living in a haunted house with my wife and eight dogs

[Glennon Doyle @GlennonDoyle]

Just a heads up Abby and I have decided to be even gayer in July. So.