I periodically remember that mormons literally discard their male children to ensure elder men get additional young brides and cant believe we dont talk about it more
@lizisamused@apex_alpha_ I've heard things about run clubs, though I haven't tried them myself yet. There is also a farmers market that I haven't tried yet either, maybe these are the modern day bars
@lizisamused@apex_alpha_ In my experience, around where I live there ain't a lot of women in bars, I don't really know if parties happen, I've just never seen em. Music and street fests aren't bad on the occasions they pop up I suppose. I will say that these aren't the types of spots I enjoy personally
@lizisamused I guess my thought is that my method I would use for any of those things either don't have a dating equivalent, or have bad dating equivalents (ie apps) that everyone seems to hate. It's low probability, but low is better than zero I suppose
@lizisamused I could be wrong, but it sounds like the main problem is the reaction to it, not the approach itself, right? Or at least, the approach only becomes an issue because of past insulting reactions. Or maybe I'm wrong, idk
Annoyed that Grant hasn't dropped any hint that he will be appointed Secretary of State, Sumner decides to channel the energy of Roscoe (spite) and block the use of the Capitol for the gala inaugural ball
@jujubenby@lizisamused To be fair to myself, I may have phased that poorly. It's not just sex, if anything, non-sexual intimacy dominates my mind just as much, if not more. It's probably not good either way, but it is what it is.
how do I become more attractive, socially competent, emotionally stable, interesting, disciplined, physically fit, or relationally healthy? Count me in! I'm working on it
Entitlement and victim identity are what populate a lot of this demographic.
You’ll notice the conversation is almost never *how do I become more attractive, socially competent, emotionally stable, interesting, disciplined, physically fit, or relationally healthy?* It’s usually resentment that reality does not hand them elite outcomes while they remain stagnant.
Most people do not date supermodels. Most women do not marry billionaires. Adults understand tradeoffs and pair within relatively matched social, physical, intellectual, and behavioral ranges. That’s normal human assortative mating.
But victim identity reframes ordinary reality into oppression. Instead of adapting to the market, they moralize their disappointment and externalize responsibility onto women, society, genetics, dating apps, feminism, hypergamy, or literally anything except self development.
And ironically, the bitterness itself becomes the biggest repellant. Chronic resentment, external locus of control, hostility, learned helplessness, and grievance addiction are profoundly unattractive traits in both sexes.
Nobody owes you exceptional outcomes just because you intensely want them.
A lot of people would rather construct an entire identity around grievance than tolerate the ego injury of admitting they may need to grow, compete harder, become more desirable, or recalibrate their expectations.
@aryflamingo@lizisamused I am in therapy. As well, when I say "It" I'm not just referring to sex, perhaps phrased poorly on my part. I have just as much, if not more, desire for non-sexual intimacy. Does that count as letting my dick control my thoughts?
@lizisamused So it comes across to the guy as "women don't want me to be bold, risk offense in any circumstance, etc so I'll do that" when it's probably not the intended message at all.
@lizisamused You definitely described me with a lot of that last paragraph lol. I've been trying to improve on that (though frankly it's been a struggle). But I think perhaps part of the disconnect is that plenty of people think of the descriptors in that last paragraph as what kind is...
Modern society hates Roscoe. It hates him because his strut shaped Gilded Age elections and formed the foundation of an era built on feuds and honest graft. They want to show you a world without these. They want you sunk in misery with snivel service reform and magnetic men