Joey Gabagool

Bridge salesman.

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

I love that his example of what good he’s done in New York is eat a slice of pizza outside the restaurant and say that it was good

[Acyn @Acyn]

Watters: You might run against Mamdani?

Portnoy: I would love to run against—if I was going to run, it would be here. Can I win here? I have no idea.

I’ve done a lot of good in NYC, whether it was the Barstool Fund or pizza places, so it wasn’t for show. I’ve had a real job. I’ve done real things, unlike these clown politicians who have never had a job and have never been in the real world for a day

[Disney Legend Paul Dehn🇵🇸🦄 @Hatercles]

If you try to promote reading in Texas they execute you

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

@DeeDeeH5 @bathr00m_joke @SpacewaySurf It’s nice that they give jobs to the mentally disabled

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

Customer sends a drink back because they didn’t like it and this dude commits harakiri with his little sword

[edihonggtina @edihonggtina]

japan's best bartender

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

Reverse engineering Leninism

[Jeet Heer @HeerJeet]

Time for a reverse Mao: first take the cities, then the countryside.

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

In order:
B
A
C
F
D
G
E

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

You have a month long vacation in the Midwest this summer. You can’t leave the zone you pick. Where are you going?

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

Anyone who says this should be sent to a reeducation camp

[Adam Booker @abooker17]

The song is not even about the state of West Virginia, so there is that

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

Beast Mode

[Morgan Barrett @MorganBarrettX]

Jeremy Clarkson’s Farm show on Amazon is the most radicalizing piece of mainstream media I’ve ever seen

Just one example (bear with me):

Badgers became a protected species in Britain 40+ years ago.

The population has exploded and now frequently transmits tuberculosis to cows

But farmers can’t cull the badger population to protect their cattle because the government still considers them to be endangered

Instead of addressing the root cause, the UK has the most batshit testing regime for cattle

There’s no TB vaccine. So the cattle have to get tested. The vets administering the test have to measure welts on the cows neck. Whether a cow lives or dies comes down to a vet trying to discern 1mm on a caliper (reactive vs non reactive).

If a cow tests positive, the farm (already running on super thin margins) is quarantined and starts hemorrhaging money.

Jeremy Clarkson’s cow (pregnant with twins) has an inconclusive test so it’s separated from the herd. It receives a second inconclusive test so they have to kill it (before it can give birth to the twins).

Now here’s the kicker: the autopsy reveals no sign of TB. It was a healthy cow needlessly killed

So - silver lining the farm should be removed from quarantine, right? WRONG - it’s still under quarantine and has to keep testing and can’t sell its beef

Kafkaesque doesn’t even begin to describe how f’d up it is for British farmers

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

@hunnidtabss @sour4pple That’s actually not true. They do breathe through their skin, but theoretically you can submerge a worm in water and it won’t drown for days.

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

@jessisajew Get fucked

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

The best part of the Stanley Cup presentation ceremony is that they let the players hold the cup first instead of the team owner.

[Carolina Hurricanes @Canes]

THE CUP IS COMING BACK TO RALEIGH!!!

[Carolina Hurricanes @Canes]

Twenty years later. Just as iconic.

[Carolina Hurricanes @Canes]

Together through it all

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

Pete Hegseth’s true enemy is the shakes

[The Conservative Alternative @OldeWorldOrder]

PETE HEGSETH: "Marxists are our enemies. Not political opponents, but real enemies."

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

@MLB This isn’t the first recorded baseball game.

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

@joero3 @ChaseLa13334773 @fearthe_void The originators of the Lost Cause ideology were adamant that the Confederate defeat was due to the disadvantages they had in terms of manpower and logistics. This is something that most Civil War scholars reject, but Foote explicitly makes this claim in the Ken Burns doc.

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

@nkulw Knicks will never win a chip as long as Dolan owns the team

[Joey Gabagool @JosephGabagool]

@Dylanm2424 @outsports I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m happily married to a woman. Also, thanks for checking out my profile. I had a look at yours. Perhaps if your heart wasn’t filled with so much hate you could find a woman to love you and not just be a horny reply guy. Best of luck