Joseph Epstein

Follow my backup account :@JosephHEpstein

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

🐀🐀Ratatouille Thread : I want to see a remake of ratatouille from the perspective of Chef Skinner : a sad drama about a rising chef who desperately tries to help the business financially by pivoting to selling frozen foods . He is then forced to hire an (1/5)

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

@maryannsnowtx Mary @maryannsnowtx , I’m working hard on my pissy attitude through deep meditation and expressing gratitude daily. #MindfulLiving

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

Some biker with tight biker shorts just yelled on your left and biked past me . Don’t worry I immediately sped up and yelled on your Left right back at him. We got a biggg on your left battle going on right now.

#DoNotOnYourLeftTheOnYourLeftGuy

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

@holdensrg As a former resident of that glorious flex room I sympathize with @JLazzy23 . Turn the heat off when they all go to bed #UsheyGoldenberg

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

Wow! apparently the writers actually went on strike so this loser could catch up on TV.

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

Can they stop making new shows for 2 months just to let us all catch up?! I’ve been trying to start Sopranos for 6 years now…

#TooMuchContent

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

We don’t talk about 1999 Nathan’s Hot Dog Champion Steve “The Terminator” Keiner enough

#KeinerWalkedSoChestnutCouldRun

[Ben Stiller @BenStiller]

What he doesn’t mention here is the time he spent learning how to make a real neti pot, from scratch, yes, including the pot - AND being an “assistant” to the actor @MichaelChernus in real life. I think we all actually thought he was his assistant. I know Michael did. Brilliant.

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

Me: what’s better the chicken or steak?

Waiter: depends what you’re in the mood for

Me: thanks

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

New year resolution:
Stop googling facts mid argument to prove your point when nobody really cared that much about the argument in the first place and you really killed the vibe
#resolutions

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

8th graders in 2010 looked older than college seniors in 2022 . It’s just a fact

#Science

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

Just walked by a very smelly looking man who smelled fantastic

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

@SeiyaSuzukiJr Only after you finish your vending machine tuna salad

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

Of all the incredible ideas I won’t ever execute on , an Outdoor bowling alley is quite possibly my best idea yet

A beautiful sunny day 🤝🤝 Bowling
#disruptor

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

Washington square park is just a collection of NYU Timothee chalomets filming Man on The Street Tiktok videos

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

@CalgaryHalberta Crazy guess but gonna out on a limb and say the water would stop running ?

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

@kimmel_jack @LeftySays_ The Lions should post a sad @LeftySays_ smoking a pack of cigarettes after every lions loss

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

This is sick … going after children . @Twitter how are we allowing this on the platform

[Jack Kimmel @kimmel_jack]

I hate this little Jets fan Johnny that keeps popping up everywhere. Maybe cool it on the ice cream there buddy

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

Life Hack 🚨: don’t pay for the coat check. Instead lose your jacket and have someone store it in the lost and found for the night
#personalfinance

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

I want to go undercover and tryout for a college football team . And then at the end of the video dramatically remove my disguise and really disappoint everybody Involved

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

Love imagining Barry O chilling on his couch scrolling twitter and giggling at this tweet

[Joseph Epstein @JosephHEpstein]

Jets fan doing pregame parking lot push-ups completely alone in the rain.

#FootballGuy #ConcretePushys