Julian Mercer

Corporate life, minus the filter. Author of 'How Not to Run a Company' – read the stories they tried to bury.
BOOK👇

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

If you've ever wondered why things never really change in companies, this is the book no-one else would publish.👇

https://t.co/8eT1K9hLRS

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

@hrmagazine Just one is missing:
“How Not To Run A Company”

https://t.co/QZVb9tfwGg

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

https://t.co/7U0U1DxBa1

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

@Manu_Sisti Book

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

@expertwith_AI Kids

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

@heyblake https://t.co/QZVb9tfwGg

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

CEO town hall tomorrow.
Everyone rehearses their "deeply engaged" face.
The only thing less genuine than the questions:
The answers.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

Back-to-back meetings are now called "progress."
Nothing gets built, but your calendar looks impressive.
If talking were productivity, we'd all be millionaires.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

The loudest person gets promoted in the cult of "visibility."
Actual work?
That just makes your inbox heavier.
Learn to perform productivity, or risk becoming invisible.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

Exit interviews are performance art.
Say too little: wasted time.
Say too much: HR smiles and closes the tab.
Nobody really wants the truth, just the illusion of asking.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

Annual strategy day is a ritual.
New buzzwords, same unspoken rules.
The real strategy?
Keep last year's problems and rename them with more syllables.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

Layoff season arrives.
A sombre email, followed by free cupcakes in the break room.
"We feel your pain," says the exec, already drafting next quarter's bonus proposal.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

Performance review, act one.
Manager reads from a template last used in 2014.
Employee nods, counts ceiling tiles.
Everyone claps for "growth opportunities."

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

"Per my last email"
Translation:
I see you, ignoring the work, but I'm paid to be polite or at least appear to be.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

Transformation project in motion.
Big promises, jammed inboxes, a suspiciously enthusiastic video.
Six months later: only thing changed is the company font.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

@hr_unhinged "Clandestine amusement exclusion" will be referenced in the next values refresh.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

@SteveStuWill The people who write it tend to be the same ones who believe it.

That's the more interesting finding.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

The harshest truth about leadership failure?

Leaders rarely "fail." They just move up, sideways, or out, leaving chaos for everyone else to sweep up.

It's not incompetence. It's immunity, earned by mastering office theatre, not results.

Survival skill, not leadership.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

@mktpavlenko The others called it "restructuring."

Snap called it what it is.

That took courage.

Or they just stopped caring about the euphemism.

[Julian Mercer @JulMercAuthor]

@alexeheath 8,000 people.

The email will say "difficult decision."

It wasn't difficult. It was late.