Smirk

If you're reading my bio you'll probably never read my tweets.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

@DallyDoll Hiiiiiiii

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

Apparently this still exists...

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

The best thing about divorce is the pitiful looks I get all day long from everyone around me like I'm about to be taken out behind the shed.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

@jehujeni HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

Brain: This is a bad idea. You can’t afford it and it’s silly to even consider it. You know this.

Heart: YAY LET’S GO DO THE THING!!!

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

@splendidly_dull It's been a really long time. Figured I'd come check in.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

Hi.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

Did you know there are people who use Twitter for things besides rewording the same joke a thousand times?

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

Sometimes I hear that a person has Snapchat and I immediately feel sorry for all the people I know are getting daily dick pics.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

I muted everyone I follow and Twitter is the most fun it has ever been.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

The real reason The Beatles broke up is that Ringo kept insisting on singing more.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

I'm sorry you feel that way is the best way to apologize without actually meaning it at all.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

69 is just two people getting half-assed head.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

If you didn't want me to treat you with respect, you shouldn't have gone out wearing whatever you want.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

The best thing about having 3,000 followers is that I know thousands of people are choosing to ignore me completely.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

When someone says they wouldn't trade a memory for anything, a fun thing to do is to remind that that it's not possible to do that.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

@SharpeBytes You have cake???

[Le Sigh @SharpeBytes]

I've got a cupcake for that mouth of yours.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

Farmers Markets are a great place to get locally grown fruits and vegetables to throw away in 3 weeks.

[Smirk @JustASmirk]

@Karpie212 I thought we were playing hide and go seek and I've been hiding under the bed for three months.