Just Pasta

Mouthwatering taste you cant resist 👅💦🍝 Order via DM Delivery/ Pickup Takeouts Only❗️ Preorder available

[Just Pasta @JustPasta1]

Abuja’s favorite Pasta takeout is open and orders are coming in quick.

Don’t sleep on this, order your mouthwatering pasta dishes now

[Gregory Jon @gregoryjon]

So the opening acts cancelled and his own band quit. Ed Sheeran says hold my beer. 😉

[Matty Dread @MattyDread]

Religious Jokes, not too bad actually #Comedy #Humour #Jokes

[marqix ☆ @fwmarqix]

Neighbor knocked on my door holding a turtle.

Neighbor: Is this yours?

Me: No.

Neighbor: It was in your yard.

Me: I don't own a turtle.

Neighbor: Well someone does.

Me: Not me.

Neighbor: (handing it to me) Here.

Me: I DON'T WANT IT.

Neighbor: Too late. (leaves)

Me: (holding turtle) What am I supposed to do with you?

Turtle: (no response)

Posted on NextDoor: "Found turtle. Please claim."

Got 47 responses.

None of them helpful.

One person: "That's Steve."

Me: Who's Steve?

Person: "The neighborhood turtle. He visits everyone."

Me: Turtles don't DO that.

Person: "Steve does."

Another person: "Keep him for a day. He'll leave on his own."

Me: How?

Person: "Steve knows."

Put the turtle in my backyard. Gave him some lettuce.

He ate it. Then stared at me.

Me: What?

Turtle: (continued staring)

Me: I gave you food!

My wife came home.

Wife: Why is there a turtle?

Me: His name is Steve. He's visiting.

Wife: Visiting?

Me: According to NextDoor.

Wife: That app is unhinged.

Day 2: Steve is still here.

Posted again: "Steve the turtle hasn't left."

Response: "He likes you."

Me: I don't want him to like me.

Response: "Too late. Steve has chosen you."

Me: CHOSEN ME FOR WHAT?

Response: "Steve works in mysterious ways."

Day 3: Steve has moved to my front porch.

Someone walking by: Oh, you have Steve now!

Me: I don't HAVE him. He won't leave.

Walker: He stayed at my place for two weeks last summer.

Me: TWO WEEKS?

Walker: Best two weeks of my life.

Me: HOW?

Walker: Steve just gets you, you know?

Me: HE'S A TURTLE.

Walker: Not just any turtle.

Day 5: I've accepted Steve.

He has a routine. Morning sun, afternoon lettuce, evening judgment.

Wife: You named him.

Me: The neighborhood named him.

Wife: But you're using the name.

Me: It's easier than saying "the turtle."

Wife: You're attached.

Me: I'M NOT.

Steve climbed onto my lap while I was reading.

Me: This doesn't mean anything.

Roommate: Sure.

Day 7: Steve left.

Just gone.

Me: Where's Steve?

Wife: He left.

Me: When?

Wife: This morning. I saw him heading toward the park.

Me: And you didn't stop him?

Wife: He's a turtle. He goes where he wants.

Me: But he didn't say goodbye.

Wife: Again. Turtle.

Posted on NextDoor: "Steve left."

Response: "He'll be back."

Another: "Steve always comes back."

Another: "Steve is eternal."

Me: This feels cult-like.

It's been three weeks.

I still check the yard every morning.

Wife: You miss him.

Me: I don't miss a TURTLE.

Wife: You bought lettuce yesterday.

Me: That's for ME.

Wife: You don't eat lettuce.

Me: I'M TRYING NEW THINGS.

Last night, something scratched at the door.

Opened it.

Steve.

Me: (picking him up) WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

Wife: I thought you didn't care?

Me: I DON'T. I'm just... checking his health.

Wife: Uh huh.

Steve is on the porch right now.

I bought him a little water dish.

Wife: You know he's leaving again, right?

Me: I know.

But until then, Steve and I have an understanding.

He visits. I provide lettuce.

It's a good system.

[Just Pasta @JustPasta1]

@Lord_Adura 😂😂😂

[Oyindamola🙄 @dammiedammie35]

If any policeman stops you, before he does anything to you, show him this video!! Save this video now and show him!! Tell him you got it straight from the source. Post this video on your WhatsApp for other people to see. Spread the word guys

[Asanwa @Chizitere_xyz]

It was my birthday last week, and I was sitting in the breakroom at work when a younger coworker asked what my partner had gotten me. She already had her phone out, completely ready to see a picture of a designer bag, a massive $500 floral arrangement, or a viral-worthy dinner receipt.

I told her the truth: He spent his entire weekend covered in grease, replacing the alternator and brake pads on my car, and then he quietly paid off the remaining balance of my student loan that had been giving me rolling panic attacks for six months.

She gave me this deeply tragic, pitying look. “Oh. Well, that’s practical, I guess,” she said. “But you deserve to be spoiled. You know, the princess treatment. A man who really loves you wants to show you off, not just do chores. That's kind of the bare minimum.”

I just stared at her.

What she didn’t see was that for the last half of the year, I had been losing sleep, my hair was thinning from financial stress, and I was terrified to drive my car on the highway. My partner took his only two days off from his own grueling job, completely wrecked his hands under my hood, and drained his own savings, just to hand me back my peace of mind.

The internet has completely rotted our definition of romance. We have been brainwashed to believe that if a man isn't performing his love for an audience, buying things that look highly aesthetic on a TikTok reel, then he isn't doing enough.

We are out here casually calling a man's literal blood, sweat, and absolute financial sacrifice "the bare minimum" just because it doesn't come in a shiny box with a ribbon.

[Just Pasta @JustPasta1]

⏳

[Sassafrass84 @Sassafrass_84]

Admit it. You laughed. 🤣🤣🤣

[Donald @RealDonaldDoo]

Word for newly weds.

If you just marry, come here.

[𝗄𝖺𝗄𝗁𝗈𝗓𝖺 @simphiweyinkoc_]

Saw someone say "you could literally be fighting for your life, and some people will only notice how you're not showing up for them." Let that sink in.

[The Benin Blogger @TheBeninBlogger]

Interesting...

[Ayò-Bánkólé Akíntújoyè @AyoBankole]

This is the most profound message I've listened to on the mercy of God in my entire life.

[liminal @Liminal1988]

finish something

[Ifechidere @Ifechideere]

I’m fascinated by the European civilization by this time.
How did they embody this volume of aesthetics and excellence?

Read somewhere that a sculptor was probed about why he took 6 months to paint a dove, covered by a pillar which no one would see. And his reply was ‘God will’

They painted and built like they were performing before God. It’s said that they were inspired by the biblical description of heaven.

They became shackled to perfection because their ‘why’ was to perform for God.

That tells me that humans won’t change the world if they are not driven by a purpose that leaves them in awe. A purpose, deity, idea bigger than them!

[ME @MercyE__]

Omg! This is Patra Idehen. She got married to her husband when we were still in 200l/300l in Uniben, they were both course mates but I tell you she was already wealthy as at that time, while the guy was just a regular everyday student.

Her brand was one of the most popular brands in Benin. Their pre-wedding photo shoot even went viral on social media. I can’t emphasise enough how much I knew her to be rich from her doings from afar. How life got to this point baffles me, like how? This is so heartbreaking 💔 this hurts me so bad because I know where she’s coming from! She turned that guy’s life around for the better, we couldn’t even recognise him, I think he had to even leave school to focus on bigger things. 💔I’m so pained

[The Kiichen @TheKiichen]

Chicken & Sausage Jambalaya rice 🍚

Devils Eggs vegetable salad 🥗

Turkey Burger 🍔