Justin James

Comic/Chef/ Junior Volunteer Veterinarian. A sharp folly of a man, full of wit and chicanery.

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

Whoever decided fried chicken sandwiches can be $15 without fries can legit go fist themselves.

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

The rough patch on your heel is perfect for scratching the top of the other foot.

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

Do with this what you will, but the Quesalupa is leaving Taco Bell soon.

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

Doctors offices in LA are required to show the movie ‘White Chicks’ in the waiting area once a day

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

After getting the vax I immediately flew from LA to Texas so I could buy a beer for $3 at a bar.

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

@J_Jenks24 No

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

Every job training video be like:
If you’re sick stay home until you’re better.

Everytime you try to call out:
Hahaha, no you will die here. Shift starts in an hour.

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

I like to say I’m a nervous flyer, that way nobody questions how many little bottles of booze I bring on a flight.

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

I got the vax and my hair looks great, everything is coming up Milhouse!

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

All day I’ve been watching a British girl on tiktok try American foods for the first time. Ranch blew her mind! Hell yeah, it’s shower day!

[Kyle Anderson @DangerAnderson]

Surfers be like

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

3 things to know about me:
1. Love the muppets
2. I’m wine drunk
3. 5 year engagement doesn’t get enough shine

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

@kylerehl Hell yeah love a muppet meme

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

@twakeonline

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

@J_Jenks24 Oh bud, that’s an age thing not a guy thing. Welcome to self care, it’s great

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

If somebody could tell the kids on tiktok to like my cooking videos I’d really appreciate it. It’s shower day!

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

@DangerAnderson KITY gonna be lit when it comes back

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

I’m making birria egg rolls today. This is the greatest idea I’ve ever had.

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

I got my first dose last week and now I’ve got Fauci in my DM’s asking for vaccine card pics or it didn’t happen. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

@J_Jenks24 I’ll send you a link to my onlypans

[Justin James @JustinJamesIs]

I don’t care about crystals or astrology but I exclusively date women that do and that’s on me.