Johan van Wyk

Retired hack at Media24.

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@BusinessTechSA You make it sound like the R2 billion investment is in danger of being derailed, while it’s an allegation against one of it’s numerous employees that stands accused of sexual misconduct…get real.

[Beautiful Things 🌸 @SallyRSA]

Yes, the last sentence …

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@Micylaaa Boomer here…perhaps a tad early to be imbibing and baiting? 😜

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@vlok_andre @gronumsmith Afrikaners have been in conflict long before the Great Trek and will still be squabbling when they establish colonies to terraform Mars - arguing about who is the real Marskaners.

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@JordiGriff Indeed, just make sure the math on water and electricity supply is mathing…

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@hendrikcronje71 Ek skud maar net my kop oor Embrose…

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@GvanOnselen Slim-slinks, wel ter tale…helaas ‘n doos bly ‘n doos…

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@RiseAgainstEvil Sluipmoord poeks, a hit.

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@joyinola @LewisHamilton @F1 You cannot be rude enough to MB.

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@GvanOnselen @uMarhobane Sir, I know the level of stupidity is an affront to your immense intellect, but do you have to be such insufferable twat in your responses?

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@jwhitey98 Très bien!

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@African_Spring @dailysunsa @MTHETHELELISAMU Nope, he’s a battery

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

Keith the swiss knife of grazers 😂

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Update on Keith.

Keith has found the barn.

Not the inside of the barn. Keith has been inside the barn. Keith has eaten things inside the barn that Dave is still cataloguing. This is not new information.

Keith has found the outside of the barn. Specifically, the point where the stone wall of the barn meets the lower edge of the corrugated roof, forming a ledge approximately 14 inches wide at a height of about 5 feet, accessible from the east side where the wall is built into the slope of the field and the height differential drops to roughly 18 inches.

Keith is on the roof.

Dave discovered this at 7:45am when he looked out of the kitchen window and saw Keith standing on the barn roof eating the moss off the corrugated iron with the focused attention of an animal that has identified a new food source and has absolutely no concerns about the surface it is standing on to access it.

Goats are not supposed to be on barn roofs.

This is a human position. Keith has not been briefed on this position.

Goats, as a species, are mountain animals. Their hooves have a hard outer edge for grip and a soft inner pad that functions as a friction surface on uneven terrain. They have evolved over millions of years to navigate surfaces that would be considered completely impassable by any other domesticated animal. A 12-degree corrugated iron slope is, from Keith's perspective, a gentle incline with some interesting vegetation on it.

Dave stood in the yard and looked at Keith on the roof.

Keith looked at Dave from the roof.

Keith ate some more moss.

Dave went to get his phone. Dave is not sure who to call. Dave is not sure this situation has a protocol.

Keith has been on the roof for three hours.

The moss is nearly gone.

Dave's log, this evening: "Barn roof. Moss. Three hours. Structurally sound, apparently. Added a note to tell the insurance company. Have not told the insurance company."

The roof is fine.

The moss needed managing.

Keith is still finding new work to do.

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@Bound2Liberty @ConCaracal Well, a fratternity fellow from the “wrong” race, ain’t gonna cut the mustard

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@modernhistory The green chair

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@haveigotnews If you’re a tad sensitive you should perhaps keep to the side walk?

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@AtholT @CilliersB Just a reminder…mosquitos like lice and ticks, are bloodsuckers.

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@wicks_jeff @TheKiffness @Paratus2014 @StarJay_23 @CowansView @PieterDuToit Sir, as a great investigative reporter, rather let your stories do the talking.

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@ANCYLhq Home of the Geriatric youth.

[Johan van Wyk @JvanWyk]

@RonaldLamola Yeah right…