Jvason

Don’t think too hard, just have fun with it

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

congressional democrats, whose approval rating has just barely been above pediatric cancer’s for the last decade, trying to get into a “it’s him or us” stand-off with Zohran Mamdani

[Acyn @Acyn]

Mamdani: AIPAC, for whom the only thing more frightening than democracy being allowed to run its course is an end to genocide in Netanyahu's wars.

[Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan]

Yes @mcuban you’re right that 60% of US adults own stock directly or indirectly but what you omit to mention is that the richest 1% of Americans own nearly 50% of the stock market while the bottom half of Americans own just 1%.

[baloo @davekingNL29]

They say penis size is related to shoe size which makes the fear of getting raped by a clown much scarier.

[Cameron Bradford @camerobradford]

My parents would do a bit where my mom would tuck me in and my dad would come in as the "tuck-in inspector" and find my mom's job to be subpar. He'd step out in the hallway and fire her and she'd scream, begging and pleading for her job, even offering sexual favors sometimes.

[🌅 100 Frœgs of Summer 🏝 @FroegVol4]

You're supposed to let it grow until it looks like shit and then cut it a bit shorter than you want to maximize the time until you need to cut it again

[onion person @CantEverDie]

elon musk about to kill himself

[Acyn @Acyn]

Mamdani: I’m feeling incredible about the Knicks. I have to give a shoutout to my friend because the only reason I could watch Game 1 is because he had YouTube TV and he gave me his login. A lot of people ask, “What’s democratic socialism?” Sharing YouTube TV with your boys.

[@ratlimit @ratlimit]

HIPAA should include girlfriend’s askinghow much you have’ve to drink

[Richard Cranium @RichardCranny69]

A hungover crank to her tan lines in the office bathroom might be on today’s agenda

[Stuart Benson @LeftHandStu]

This is the first time I’ve ever seen The Situation actively monitoring itself.

[Meek Mills and Boon @KiddSpade1]

Shane Jones: Indians don't share Kiwi values

Indians: I am quite fond of running a small business, getting rich from property and test match cricket

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

using the included measuring cup to determine how much laundry detergent to use

[Lefty Loading.... @4_Ben_Media]

You gon babysit the dice or shoot nigga?

[Justin🦩Boldaji @justinboldaji]

Every downed US pilot in Iran after being fed authentic Iranian cuisine

[captain brian @quebecween]

people who are scared of roller coasters

[Hannah Krieg @hannahkrieg]

"I live in your head rent free" In my head housing is not a market commodity, but a guaranteed human right. In my head, I see a better world sorry.

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

me paying $30 in gas to buy imported things that have been hit with tariffs bc joe rogan is learning about politics at age 58

[Four Finger Discount @fourfingerpod]

"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a sock."