Katherine Brennan

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

I’d like to take this moment to preemptively apologize to my tomorrow morning self, because I’m leaving you all the dishes and shit I don’t feel like doing tonight. Sorry girl.

[Darla @ddsmidt]

I don’t like these new “smart” dryers. I like the old fashion stupid ones, the ones that actually got my clothes dry.

[emily may @emilykmay]

So @Delta , Trevor who works at Piedmont Triad International airport is a 💯 employee and you should give him a raise. /3

[Mommy Owl @Mommy__Owl]

My daughter just put herself in timeout in her room because she was “done hearing other people’s voice noise.”

[Keeks 🦋 @DietCoke_Esq]

Marketing just tried to convince me to put my headshot into my email signatures and I had to explain why in a field (litigation) where I’m already being taken less seriously due to gender, age, and ethnicity, it would be a bad idea to also display how pretty I am (yeah, I said it)

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

10-year-old: *brings in a package* What did you order?

Me: Something really cool.

10: You don't remember, do you?

Me: I couldn't even guess.

[Barred and Bearded @RileeDHarrison]

“I am not 100% sure of the answer but let me research it and discuss with my supervising attorney” should be the #1 tool in a young lawyer’s toolbox. Do not be ashamed to not know the answer to something. Giving the right answer promptly is better than guessing in the moment.

[emily may @emilykmay]

Walking my child into summer camp and overheard another child saying he didn’t want to go. His mom said, “hm. I’m sorry. Maybe you’ll change your mind when you see all of your friends! Or maybe you won’t. And that’s OK too.”

THIS GENERATION WILL BE SO WELL-ADJUSTED.

[Jeremy, Writer & Dad & Collector of Parks @JeremyWingert79]

I would like to believe that the dozens of cheap little day trips I/we take with our kids add up to exactly the same amount of joy & happy memories as all the far-flung, picture-perfect tropical vacations everyone else is enjoying.

I would like to believe it.

And so I will.

[Rebecca Papin @RebeccaPapin]

Just overheard my eight-year-old son tell the little boy who lives across the street, “You have to go now. I’ve hit my limit for being around other people today.”

[Twinstant Family | Lisa @twinstantfamily]

I am so tired of fighting with our insurance. My 3 yo has a hernia and is having surgery on Friday. Our insurance denied it because they need to follow up with his employer to make sure it’s not a work related injury.

Again, he’s 3.

[KING 5 News @KING5Seattle]

From Jan. 1 to June 30, the nation endured 28 mass killings, all but one of which involved guns. https://t.co/Ogk9ci41uy

[ACLU @ACLU]

Simply put: The Cooper Davis Act would allow the DEA to compel private companies hand over massive amounts of our personal data — without ever obtaining a warrant.

The Senate must not pass this bill. https://t.co/4R8W3l8bLg

[Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer]

My client sent an email that read, “…and then he said why don’t you myofb!”

Yes, I had to google that.

Yes, I will be using that in the future as frequently as possible. Myofb.

[Parenting Presently @presentparent_]

If you end up drinking your coffee room temp regardless of whether it started out hot or iced, you might be a mom.

[I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids]

I did the universal sign for “call me” and my tween gave me a confused look and asked “on a banana?”