Kade Jorud

Talking to me is about as exciting as going to the DMV

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

@crc4077 @ErasTourResell @TheSpaceGal @crc4077

[Eras Tour Resell @ErasTourResell]

ERAS TOUR GIVEAWAY! ✨
✮ We are teaming up with @TheSpaceGal to giveaway THREE pairs of tickets to the Eras Tour in LA!
✮ LIKE AND RT THIS TWEET for a chance to win a pair of tickets to The Eras Tour at SoFi Stadium on 8/3
✮ OPTIONAL donations to help save kids from Malaria can be made here: https://t.co/5ukj5WufF8
GIVEAWAY ENDS 7/17 at 5 PM EST

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

@crc4077 I am Ash Ketchup!

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

From the other side of the apartment “What’s the nice word for nationalism?”
….. “Patriotism?”

[-redacted- 🫒🔻 @nottreesap]

The immune system is so wild to think about. Your blood contains billions of microscopic Kirbys with hit lists and they all love you very much.

[JaidenAnimations @JaidenAnimation]

I just bought the best Pokémon plush ever created

Rayquarizard

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

Finally got my childhood dog to live with us in the cities, and nothing makes me happier than watching my girlfriend and her bond. :)

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

Little known fact: Trout metamorphose into eels and the meat of their intermediate form is so chewy that, when mixed with herbs and the secretions of the anal glands of beavers, they were the original source of chewing gum. No one knows this because it’s not true and I am drunk.

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

Best part of family reunions is the younger cousin trying real hard to make me “look normal” but “it’s just so difficult”

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

Overheard a man on a run say on his phone that the only tattoo he will ever get is Iron Man on his left butt cheek and I approve

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

To be in a group of 5 teenage boys at Taco John’s throwing your bodies left and right in a synchronized manner to shake a GMC Sierra enough to get your mirror to touch the building. It is nice to see some traditions live on

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

Carolyn and I are watching a Minecraft speed runner play with his mom, and she is literally crying from how cute it is

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

I just applied for a job with the title of “pirate” so apparently 7 year old me was right

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

You wanna know what’s fun? Walking down stairs to do laundry only to find that the basement is flooded

[Carolyn Curtis @crc4077]

Have a possible minor infection from a cartilage piercing. I walk into health services, tell the nurse why I need an appointment. She asks to see it, grabs my ear WITHOUT GLOVES and pulls all around, then has the NERVE to go “do you regret it?” Bitch, give me an appointment

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

After my surgery, I’m watching my girlfriend play Pokémon Arceus and she just caught a budew (at my request) that was following her around wanting to be her friend and that made me weepy. Anesthesia is wild my friends

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

It is always uncomfortable to watch students try to have a personal friendship with professors that are completely disinterested in anything beyond professional. This tweet is sponsored by my para social relationships with professors

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

We are burning a candle in our room and it just let out the wettest fart I have ever heard. Both of us were shook

[Matthew Shallenberger @mjshally]

This whole "the NYT ruined Wordle!" thing is a great case study in confirmation bias. It also gives us some insight into human nature that helps explain how conspiracy theories work.

[Kade Jorud @KJorud]

Some days I really want to inject WD-40 directly into every joint in my body, just to let my joints know what it is like to have synovial fluid