Kayla B

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

I stg putting my daughter to bed each night takes 10 years off my life. Like girl just go to sleep🫠

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

I blinked and somehow I’m already planning my daughter’s 1st birthday party. Time is a thief 🥹

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

There are so many things I enjoy about being a mom, however, having absolutely NO control over my bladder is not one. 🫠

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

It’s only fitting that my child decided to shit on me… on the first day of my new job. Happy Monday 🥲

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Porter. His eyes are pup here. 12/10

[Josh Trebach, MD @jtrebach]

*phone rings in middle of the night*

me: *answers phone* hey this is josh with toxicology

doc: hey josh we have a kid here with cyanosis, blue tongue, blue lips—uhh hold on a sec *whispering in background*

me: ?

doc: nvm they had a blue jolly rancher bye

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

My husband got off work early, and he’s picking Amelia up from daycare, so I can have an afternoon to myself.

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

it looks like another lovely spring day to REMIND YOU DELINQUENTS TO STOP "RESCUING" BABY ANIMALS. THEIR MOMS ARE MOST LIKELY NEARBY SO JUST MIND YOUR BUSINESS.

FAWNS, DROP EM'.
BIRDS, LEAVE EM'.
RACCOONS, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

ARMADILLO?¿? ARMADILL-NO.

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

I bought frosted sugar cookies from Walmart for an Easter party at my daughter’s daycare, and two of the moms own their own bakeries… so in others words- I gotta try harder💀

[Jenni @hashjenni]

“thank god it’s the weekend”

me Saturday and Sunday:

[Chili's Grill & Bar @Chilis]

if you’ve ever stolen a presidente shaker from us, you’re on the naughty list

[Jay Arnold @JayArnoldTX]

Taco Bell is the only fast food place I roll up to with no ordering game plan. I just let the menu speak to me. The Bell will tell me what I need. My mouth may be moving but I am just the instrument of a supreme design.

[Sok-It @javasok]

You get: 1 hour of extra sleep

You lose: the will to live after the sunsets at 4pm

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

I can barely pick out where I want to eat… how the hell am I supposed to decide on what to name a child 🥲

[jame @kloogans]

pretty fucked up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

@__hanga I’ve definitely had my days where I completely lose it and just eat whatever is in sight 😂

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

I’ve tried to be really good about not eating a ton of sweets while pregnant, bc weight gain, duh, but today I drove around Nac until I found the biggest slice of cheesecake I could find… and boy was it worth it.

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

Just found out that Hulu is removing Brooklyn 99, and I want to cry.

[Hannah ⭐️ @hvnnvhr]

My boyfriend said he can drop us off for Sunday mimosas if yours can pick us up

[Kayla B @KM00RE1]

My husband: I don’t like grey’s anatomy
Also my husband: