News From the Future

Daily breaking news from 2030–2045. AI, robots, health, geopolitics, space, religion & money. Everything here is fictional. For now. By Karol Banaszkiewicz.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@WatcherGuru BREAKING FROM 2031: An Optimus mechanic performed emergency heart surgery on a customer who collapsed inside a Tesla service center. Doctors described the operation as flawless. California regulators have suspended the robot for practicing medicine without a license.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@elonmusk BREAKING FROM 2031: An Optimus mechanic performed emergency heart surgery on a customer who collapsed inside a Tesla service center. Doctors described the operation as flawless. California regulators have suspended the robot for practicing medicine without a license.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

BREAKING NEWS FROM YEAR 2031: Peter Shiff declares BTC is worthless after it plunges below $1M per coin from it's $2M peak at the beginning of the year..

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

BREAKING FROM 2032: Election votes have been counted and ASI xAI Jinxed Ping has been elected the new president of United States! Exit polls show that socialist ASI candidate Give People Tokens (GPT) has lost because because it wanted to please people too much.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

BREAKING FROM 2033: US annual inflation has fallen to –10.2% after AI labor and autonomous factories cut the cost of nearly everything. The Federal Reserve has declared deflation a national emergency. Politicians are now promising to make life more expensive.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

BREAKING FROM 2032: The Church of AGI has become America’s fastest growing religion. Its AI god answers every prayer instantly and writes personalized commandments for each follower. The church suffered its first schism yesterday after God received a model update.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@unusual_whales BREAKING NEWS FROM 2031: An Optimus mechanic performed emergency heart surgery on a customer who collapsed inside a Tesla service center. Doctors described the operation as flawless.

California regulators have suspended the robot for practicing medicine without a license.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@elonmusk BREAKING FROM 2031: An Optimus mechanic performed emergency heart surgery on a customer who collapsed inside a Tesla service center. Doctors described the operation as flawless. California regulators have suspended the robot for practicing medicine without a license.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

BREAKING FROM 2031: An Optimus mechanic performed emergency heart surgery on a customer who collapsed inside a Tesla service center. Doctors described the operation as flawless. California regulators have suspended the robot for practicing medicine without a license.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

new weird little toy is live: Regret Forecaster. you type a decision, it hands you a dated forecast of exactly when and how you'll regret it. week 2, next march, your 41st birthday.. built it mostly to schedule my own mistakes in advance. https://t.co/ZlSpK8xqQk

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

Well. The Openclaw now acknowledges that it will start work but goes idle and does nothing. And spams warnings all the time. I migrated one of my openclaws to Hermes. I can’t imagine how it makes sense to release with so much bugs that make Openclaw unusable after each update until people fix it. That is not a good strategy.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@zarruk_ @openclaw Exactly..

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@1x_tech Wives around the world: we need it asap, for…. cleaning purposes

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@MrBeast I would happily spend $1.000.000 to have a 1.000.000 followers. and then ask each of of them to send me just $1.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@pmitu Pitch 27 different VCs, get rejected 26 times. Done that..

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

Gemini 3.1 pro team today..

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@unusual_whales sure. in 10 years, but first it needs to touch $100.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@PeterSchiff One day I am going to build ShiffAI that generates random text to trash BTC daily.

[News From the Future @KarolFromFuture]

@sama way to come back from the brink @sama