Dearest mother —
I write this important note from our barn as we must keep distance during such a chaotic time. I trust the rooster to leave this on the porch. My accommodations out here are nice — the mound of hay beneath my sleep-sack feels like a cloud.
Please heed my advice: Stay in the house. What’s more, do not hoard Squirrel Oil. I have noticed the cows grazing six-feet apart. Splendid. The hogs may be filthy, but we must stay clean, especially our hands. Please cleanse yours often. I love you.
— Andrew