Kale 🥬

21+ / dry humor / animal science enthusiast

[Esther @_emKamm]

I respect those high class cats in tuxedos but I love that my guy just keeps it casual with socks and a g-string

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

so glad i don’t have to listen to a man play an instrument at me

[𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚 @beyoncegarden]

HE CHEWED HIM UP SO BAD HERE LMFAOOO😭😭😭

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

if god was a woman y’all would just want to fuck her

[BlackSabbath @BlackSabbath]

Ozzy Forever!

[Ozzy Osbourne @OzzyOsbourne]

It is with more sadness than mere words can convey that we have to report that our beloved Ozzy Osbourne has passed away this morning. He was with his family and surrounded by love.

We ask everyone to respect our family privacy at this time.

Sharon, Jack, Kelly, Aimee and Louis

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

i wonder who does the oil changes for cop cars

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

every time one of my cocaine friends gets skinny i’m like yeah so you’ve been doing a lot of cocaine lately

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

parrots don’t talk you’re just schizophrenic

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

and what if there were crossbreeds of cars like yeah she’s 1/2 subaru legacy 1/2 jeep rubicon 😻😻

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

“make” this, “model” that, what BREED is your car?

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

riding a bicycle feels like my ass is wearing a pair of un-broken in shoes

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

thought i saw a poodle riding shotgun but it was just a girl

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

i’m just a girl (derogatory)

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

Do you think when they come back their fillers will be dragging down and sagging off their faces. genuinely curious

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

@HumansNoContext offer her a damn ponytail

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

@Badflower i literally euthanize pets for a living and i’m too scared to listen to it

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

@inforum it’s a vicious cycle and probation will only do so much without proper treatment of the issue itself: the alcohol dependence.

[Kale 🥬 @KayleeLyter]

@inforum poor kid clearly has an addiction to alcohol. needs rehabilitation. i’m sure he’s feels awful for being responsible for a death and is using alcohol to numb that pain.