I was pulled over by a Police Officer. He looked at my license and said "you're supposed to be wearing glasses". I said I have contacts. He said he didn't care who I know
my lukewarm take on married last names is that whichever is the coolest last name should “win” and become the family name
example: my maiden name was Mars, and I changed it to Hakanson to match my husband
he works for NASA
we chose poorly
I was in a park and a lady loudly called out "Anyone who wants an ice cream come over here". I headed over with several others. She handed out ices to them all then asked me "Who are you?". I realised the rest were all her family. 30 years later I still cringe.
Calling out the audience, dragging her toxic ex-husband, and celebrating her first Grammy, all while delivering one of the best performances of her career. Only Miley Cyrus could pull off a moment this iconic.
@Jordan1977590 @visualbasic97 And you're a fucking insensitive prick. You're replying to somebody who literally just stated they're recovering from a very serious eating disorder, and your initial response is to call them a retard because recovery it's difficult for them? If anybody here is stupid, it's you
British weather is no joke a few days ago it was 18°C, spring had sprung, the blossoms were out, the sun was shining and the pollen was high and today it is BACK TO 0°C with a forecast that can only be described as "Bright, mild and sunny with INTERMITTENT GALE FORCE HAIL STORMS"
In the time it has taken me to write this tweet it started SNOWING THICK FAST AND HEAVY and then STOPPED and now the sky is clear and the sun is shining again I feel like I'm going crazy WHAT SEASON IS THIS
Knife to the flight attendant’s throat, she’s crying and screaming for her mama when a random (or not so random) passenger says, “my turn,” trades spots, strips the blade, and drops the punk with police.
Bravest move on in an airport this year. What a hero.
my girlfriend does a version of dry january where she drinks as much as she wants but only if other people buy drinks for her. this is an expensive month for me
Remember Me (2010) has one of the wildest endings of its era. The final reveal is so sudden and extreme that it completely overtook the movie itself. Most people remember the film only because of how it ends.
“He raped me.”
“Donald J Trump had raped her along with Jeffrey Epstein.”
“She was found with her head ‘blown off’… there was no way it was a suicide.”
Now we’re starting to see why Trump was hiding the Epstein files, and it probably gets much worse.