Keith Roffey

Expert in annoying people. Blackbelt at moaning.
I'm a glass half empty person.
My Mission Statement: If at first you don't succeed.....just give up!!

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

Following our AGM I am now joint vice chair of Warrington Toll Bar Roundabout Appreciation Society.
Hoping to make a meaningful contributuion.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

My 300ltr of pandemic petrol is paying dividends now. I have saved over 250.00 pounds using my stock. Lots more in reserve.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

I'm not buying Darts from Sports Direct anymore.
I have 12 different sets with different metals, weights, and stem lengths. And they all keep veering to the right. Every single Dart, every single time!!
I'm going to complain to their quality control department.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

2026 New Year Resolution. Gain 3st weight. 3 Square meals a day should do it. Start 15st 5lb. Aiming for 18st minimum.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

I have now gained my Black Belt in Ikebana. First Dan.
I can now be called a Kado master.
Ikebana is a martial art similar to Jujutsu and Origami.
I'm so proud of my achievement.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

I had to point to the flowers I wanted as I couldn't pronounce them.
Chrydanthemums, Rhododendrons, Trachelospermums.
Expecting a riot of colour soon.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

Not happy. My Gym car park was full. Had to walk 200m to the entrance. Had a good session on the bike and walking machine though. Didn't enjoy walking so far back to my car.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

Great visit to the garden centre. I bought a lovely Azalea bush. I really wanted a Rhododendron but couldn't pronounce Rhododendron. Perhaps I should have just pointed to it.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

My Top 7 composers in order of preference.
1 R Binge
2 P I Tchikovsky
3 W A Mozart
4 J S Bach
5 L V Beethoven
6 E Elgar
7 J Williams

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

I'm suffering from Dartitis and The Yips. Might have to take a break from playing Darts and Golf.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

I'm ready for the next pandemic. My garage contains 300ltr petrol 500 WC rolls 200 various food tins 250ltr water.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

I bought Anger Management for Dummies. I got so angry having to queue, then the card machine didn't work and it was so hot in there and people behind me were so noisy I couldn't concentrate.
I eventually paid then stormed out. I calmed down a few hours later.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

Saw Self Confidence for Dummies in the Charity Shop. There was no price on it and I didn't like to ask so I just returned it to the shelf. Maybe next time.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

Great result. The left handed que is perfect. They also sell a complete range for left handers. Cricket bats, tennis rackets, badminton rackets, table tennis bats, and much more. All double normal cost, but worth it.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

Been to lots of sports shops for a left handed que for pool or snooker. They all cater for right handed players only. Finally found a seller online who can supply left handed ques. They cost 50% more but at least I will have what I need to improve my game.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

My walk on music is Do I love you (Indeed I do) by Frank Wilson. Also, my Darts Nickname is The Steamroller.
Only taken me 10 years to come up with these.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

I will have to give up playing Darts. After months of searching and thinking I can't think of a Darts name for myself or walk on music. I need both to apply for Qualifying School. My sponsors are disappointed with me and are withdrawing. I have no imagination.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

I will have to give up playing Darts. After months of searching and thinking I can't think of a Darts name for myself or walk on music. I need both to apply for Qualifying School. My sponsors are disappointed with me and are withdrawing. I have no imagination.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

I'm so unlucky. My local health food shop is closed due to all the staff being off sick. Hope my hypochondria doesn't flare up again before they re-open.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

Just watched Love Actually again. It's so sugary sweet. I developed Type 2 Diabetes by the end of the film.

[Keith Roffey @KeithyRoffey]

Great visit to Stratford Upon Avon. Amazed how Shakespeare could write plays with thousands of tourists disturbing him.