Kelly

I guess I’ll try this again.

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

I spent 5 min. in the dark trying to plug in my phone. I’m embarrassed and now I feel like I owe some dudes from high school an apology.

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

Is it just me or does the signage at Wingstop look like posters of The Hunger Games? Lol

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

Trump’s UFC fight is just gonna be guys dressed as Biden and Obama fighting each other.
And all the ring girls look like Ivana.

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

I think the UFC fight on the White House lawn is a good place to round up all the dudes who owe back child support.

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

I think what I’m looking forward to with our inevitable Civil War will be all the new steak sauce possibilities.

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

@ZiadFazel @allcanadianmom1 😂😂😂😂

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Feng shui consultant: Your refrigerator shouldn't be next to the couch.
Me: You're fired.

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

I would have more respect for you if you just took a white T-shirt and a sharpie and wrote “I want to put Trump’s dick right in my mouth” instead of some bullshit shirt like this.

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

Just let him ruin the whole fucking world, I guess.

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

Just me having girl dinner 💅🏻

*a honey bun and Aleve

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

I bet Blake Shelton always smells like armpits and ranch dressing.

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

“Drag queens are awful.”
-The Right

Also The Right:

[Sooz @CruisinSoozan]

I just tested positive for chocolate cake.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

It has come to my attention that several women here have described me to others as "nice." I won't stand for this slander!

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

I wonder how many people have farted spinning the big wheel on The Price is Right.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

I didn’t get drafted by the NFL last night, so I guess I’m going to work today.

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

Oh no.
I’ve discovered turning miniatures into earrings and I know at some point I’ll need an intervention.

#ICanStopWheneverIWant
#IJustDontWantToRightNow

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

I’m bored, but not “let’s put on a bra & go out in public” bored.

[Doug Bies @dougbies]

I wish I loved anything as much as old people love unplugging everything that doesn’t need to be unplugged

[Kelly @Kelly__le]

I just had to explain to someone that Anne Frank & Lisa Frank are not the same person.