Kelly CRUMLEY

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America.
Everything is free, enormous, air conditioned, comes with chips, and has five grocery stores within a mile that will sell you any cut of any animal you have ever imagined.

Write that down. 🦋

[Georgia Baseball @BaseballUGA]

This doesn’t even need a caption…just enjoy it

#GoDawgs

[Georgia Baseball @BaseballUGA]

O'WOW 🤯

#GoDawgs | @mikeoshag4

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Find yourself friends who will hang your jersey after you get ejected

[Hamilton Culpepper @thehammyshow]

Kudzu Hill: Where Georgia Baseball Lives Beyond the Lines… 🍃⚾️🐶 #RoadToOmaha

[Matt Walsh @MattWalshBlog]

The health consciousness stuff has gone massively overboard. People walking around with bands tracking their vital signs every second of the day like they’re astronauts on the ISS. Treating alcohol or sugar like it’ll kill them if they look at it. Tracking their sleep. Counting their steps. It’s possible to live a healthy life without being an obsessive, paranoid lunatic. You’re gonna die either way. In a few decades you’ll be just as dead as the rest of us, if not sooner. Relax a little and live your life while you still can.

[Anthony Dasher @AnthonyDasher1]

Cole Johnson a household name today.

[Georgia Baseball @BaseballUGA]

Do y'all have chills too?

#GoDawgs

[Georgia Baseball @BaseballUGA]

COLE JOHNSON ARE YOU SERIOUS

#GoDawgs | @williamColejoh2 | @SportsCenter

[Juanita Broaddrick @atensnut]

Never Ever Give Up ! ⚾️

[John LeFevre @JohnLeFevre]

If Lebron had his teeth knocked out, he'd take the rest of the season off.

Jack Hughes stayed in the game, won it in overtime, and then thanked the United States military for their support.

[Jon Tweets Sports @jontweetssports]

I watched a guy run a sub-six-minute mile pace ... uphill ... on skis

while I ate a Reese's Blizzard from Dairy Queen (with extra Reese's)

[Matt Van Swol @mattvanswol]

@SpeakerJohnson @HouseOversight WOULD YOU PLEASE DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF TWEETING AND HEARINGS?!!!!!

CONGRESS HAS THE POWER OF THE PURSE, DEFUND THESE FRAUDSTERS!!!!!!!

SHUT IT ALL DOWN!!!!!!

DO YOUR DAMN JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Freedom is never free.

God bless our troops. 🇺🇸

[David Pollack @davidpollack47]

It Just Means More

[Georgia Football @GeorgiaFootball]

HOW ‘BOUT THEM DAWGS ‼️

[Josh Pate @JoshPateCFB]

No humans in the history of civilization have had it better than we have it on fall Saturdays

[Erika Kirk @MrsErikaKirk]

Go to church.

[Georgia Football @GeorgiaFootball]

🔜🏟️

#GoDawgs

[Radi Nabulsi @RadiNabulsi]

The Georgia film crew does not miss