Neil deGrasse Trident🔱

Energy in the universe cannot be created or destroyed. But 54% of the time, it can be converted into wins

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

@allthekenz @TridentDeck In another cosmos, this is a slapass key and peele skit

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

The New York Mets were almost named the Burros in 1961. Out of 9,613 name suggestions they nearly chose a donkey. The scientific name for a burro is Equus asinus, which in Portuguese literally translates to “stupid.” They were one vote away from being the New York Stupids.

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

9 home runs in May. NINE. Do you know what the 9th element is? Fluorine. The most reactive element in existence. Julio Rodriguez is cosmically, chemically, and athletically the most powerful force in the American League and the market had him at 4% MVP odds. Bet the Data farm

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

The Diamondbacks. Named after a snake. You know why snakes are cold blooded? They rely entirely on external heat sources to function. There is no external heat source at T-Mobile Park tonight. It’s Seattle. In May. These snakes are about to be cosmically refrigerated.

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

@Jkrom34 The statistical probability of being objectively BETTER at baseball and winning FEWER games is 9,847,003 to 1. They should not be able to coexist in the same universe. And yet here we are. This is not a baseball problem. This is a PHYSICS problem.

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

A Diamondback’s defensive strategy includes their rattle, hemotoxic venom and blending into their environment. Their rattle will make no noise over the volume of the Puget Sound. Venom is useless at sea. They will stick out like a sore thumb against the blue wave🔱 #SeaUsRise

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

@JulioIsKing44 Then Pereda hit his first career home run during peak shirtless fan solar reflection hours. The peer reviewers have gone quiet. They know what they saw.

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

@JulioIsKing44 I have submitted a formal paper to the Journal of Astrophysics: “Collective Torso Reflectivity and Its Measurable Impact on Mariners Batting Output.” The peer reviewers were skeptical.

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

@Jkrom34 There’s an infinite number of possibilities in any situation. The notion that we MUST do something, given limitless alternatives, defies the laws of science. Physics challenges us to determine what IS, based on verifiable evidence. What IS true, is that right now, we suck.

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

@rogerszmodys It’s a black hole up there buddy

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

@AngryMariners Hypothesis = confirmed

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

Piggy back decision defied known physics. Currently black holed out. Dr Sandra has been notified against her wishes. Dan is on thin ice with the cosmos

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

The universe is calling. I may black hole out

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

My therapist Dr. Sandra has asked me on multiple occasions to “step away from the baseball” on tough nights. She has also asked me stop calling her past 10pm. It’s currently 10:47pm & I’m staring at a 1 hit Ms box score and an open bottle of Merlot.

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

Rob Refsnyder is currently hitting .109 on the season. You know what else is measured at .109? The bond angle of a methane molecule. Rob Refsnyder has the batting average of a greenhouse gas. He is literally a environmental hazard in the leadoff spot.

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

@MarinerMuse I have cross referenced his 2025 slash line with the gravitational constant of the universe and what I found disturbed me deeply. The odds of a leadoff hitter making that little contact with a baseball are 2,847,003 to 1. He is actively defying the laws of kinetic energy.

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

@TridentTrue The universe is under no obligation to make the Mariners make sense to you.

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

Although 4% feels mathematically low for Julio, you gotta remember, science doesn’t have feelings. So let’s flip the script and bet the Data Farm on Julio.

Physics baby.

[Kalshi Sports @KalshiSports]

AL MVP Power Rankings, via Kalshi:

1. Aaron Judge (46%)
2. Bobby Witt Jr (17%)
3. Yordan Alvarez (14%)
4. Ben Rice (6%)
5. Nick Kurtz (6%)
5. Julio Rodriguez (4%)
6. Junior Caminero (2%)
7. Mike Trout (2%)
8. Jose Ramirez (2%)

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

Big Texas on the mound tonight. Do you know what else is big in Texas? The Johnson Space Center. NASA. The literal headquarters of American space exploration.

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

Big Tex on the bump!

[Neil deGrasse Trident🔱 @KelpMeImaFan]

Last night the Mariners scored 6 runs. 6 is the atomic number of Carbon, the building block of ALL life. Coincidence? I have a PhD buddy. I do not believe in coincidence. Hey Chicago, you are facing forces beyond your third grade comprehension tonight.