Kes~☆catching up☆

She/they. Sparkly trash puppy,
$100 unblock fee |
catching up on commissions! ♡
shitposting and art.
♡°•*~Taken*•°~♡

[Tay @SimplyT4y]

Real. (feat. @VrcCuteKit)
#VRChat #vrchatmemes

[Bichinhos fofinhos pra quem ta cansado @BichinhosFB]

Te amo cachorrinho em baixa resolução

[FL | ASG | Maxler 🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇾 PLAY KERNEL HEARTS @Fl_Maxler]

im gonna be using this video a lot arent i

[🖤 Buy Physical Media 🖤 @VHSDVDBLURAY4K]

Everyone please stop what you are doing and watch this 1930’s murder Mystery but it’s all dogs

[TapL @TapLHarV]

I WAITED 8 YEARS TO RETWEET THIS

TODAY IS THE DAY

[COLILLIE 🎾 @Colillie_]

This has plagued my brain.

[🃏︎ @shteppii]

🎧 ٩(>w< )و!!

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊🌖 @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[𓆩❄️𓆪 ElfpireEva 𓆩❄️𓆪 @EElfpireVT]

I'll keep doing this until I'm blue in the face (I'm a vampire, that'll never happen I don't need to breath).

It's not about protecting kids, it never was, it never will be- I'll gladly stand corrected when I see legislation that ACTUALLY aims to protect children but so far that acts as a red flag more than anything else.

The Senate needs to stop this bill.

[Avocado Animations @AvoAnimations]

birds for some reason

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

Step 1: Remove filters in Reflecting Pool because Obama put them in.
Step 2: Give your criminal neighbor who runs "Greenwater Services" a $20 million no-bid contract to paint the pool.
Step 3: Fill the pool with water from the Potomac River, the phosphates from which cause algae blooms.
Step 4: Freshly sealed pool and extreme heat result in a super scum event
Step 5: Direct National Park Service to dump hydrogen peroxide into the pool which causes the paint to peel.
Step 5: Deploy US National Guard to stop people from taking photos of the swamp as a perfect metaphor for the administration.
Step 6: Blame someone else.

[Bradley @BradBradleyArt]

I like the idea of old knitting lesbians getting pissed off at all these dinky wrinkly unironed pride flags people hang up

[KoiJay🍥 @KoiJayx]

The most insane mii lineup you’ll ever see💀🌈

[NRM84 @Mappy6984]

Belmont hills

[ENX ChaCha @ENX6559]

I want an electric scooter...
#ENXChaCha #Anime #Manga #Purelove #wholesomeanime

[COLILLIE 🎾 @Colillie_]

Having the time of her life.