Kev Curran

Whimsical jests and light entertainment. I thought we were doing a bit.

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Your password must contain at least 7 alphanumeric characters and one minor character who mysteriously vanishes after the first season.

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

@lrozen [me, continuing to punch someone after I started punching them]
"I'm ready for peace if you are!"

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

@joshtpm They saw an opportunity for permanent regulatory capture, and it's scary (but not surprising) that they actually went for it.

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

🎵Feed the birds🎵
NO. DON'T FEED THE BIRDS!
🎵Tuppence a bag🎵
DID YOU SEE THE SIGN?
🎵Tuppence, tuppence🎵
OH GOD THERE ARE SO MANY BIR--

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Nice to meet you, Hamburglar. What do you do?

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Try to be respectful and understand that, for some people, it's still Groundhog Day.

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Who among us hasn't been an unindicted co-conspirator?

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

I think this weather is coming from that cloud in the corner of the map that has a face and is blowing wind at us.

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

you gotta fight
for your right
to [fumbles reading glasses]

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Flight Attendant: We have an emergency and are seeking assistance from anyone aboard who may know the winners of the Eurovision Song Contest from 2002-2008.

Me: [doesn't]

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

I didn't expect college football to trigger a national discourse on the concepts of time and general relativity, but I can see how we got here

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Digging up a body that was buried 3000 years ago: Indiana Jones

Digging up a body that was buried last week: crime

[Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker]

Ugh. Don’t even talk to me until I’ve slipped the surly bonds of Earth and touched the face of God.

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Yes, I actually do need 243 browser tabs open on my phone.

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Anime is weird because one minute you're like "oh, what a poignant examination of post-war Japan" but then, like, the cat is also a bus

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Wellness influencers tell me to avoid eating foods with ingredients I can't pronounce, so I'm steering clear of aragula.

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Of course I'm human! Could an advanced AI bot look at a little checkbox like this and...click?

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

It's amazing to see how far technology has progressed in our day-to-day life. At the grocery store, I was just politely accused of theft by a robot because I moved the onions too quickly.

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

"What we really want to do is give you a more cohesive brand identity."

[seated among entourage of handlers, the platypus nods]

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Just gave someone my business card because they're probably too stupid to remember what I'm called later.

[Kev Curran @KevCurranX]

Taking out my guitar at the party to impress the governess of my seven children who I prefer to communicate with by whistle.

"Anyway, here's Edelweiss."