Kevin

bigger hands than burrow but much less successful. just here to complain. little league world series sharp

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Gotta be honest. Didn't think Parker Jones would have much of an impact on this one

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Jalen Brunson

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

@Polymarket That’s good clean baseball @heatdaddy69420 @J_Swish24

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Energy Secretary Chris Wright: "Solar is irrelevant in the winter"

(this, dear reader, is false)

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

@HunterBiden @Kenn321705 This is like watching 2001-04 Barry Bonds

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Fifth home run this inning. Banana land

[Florida Gators Baseball @GatorsBB]

K-BOW GO BOOM AGAIN 🤯🤯

🎥 ACCN

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Would be a sick punishment to have to watch more of this from sga in the finals

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Hahaha

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Potentially the worst sports take of all time just dropped

[Garrott @CowboyGarrott]

Nothing Wemby does is impressive bro he’s fucking 7’5 he better be doing that shit

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Chet

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Would be so sick if scottie could make a putt inside 10 feet

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Cannot wait to watch McGregor get flatlined by Holloway

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Favorite account on the Internet right now

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am the Head of Product at Trump Mobile. This week we shipped a phone. I have never been more afraid.

The whiteboard in my office used to say DEPOSIT VELOCITY. I erased it on Tuesday. It now says DAMAGE CONTROL. I do not know what comes after shipping. Nobody on my team does. We had to google "supply chain." We had to google "warranty." We had to google "return." These are words from an older era. We were not built for this.

For eleven months I had the best job in America. 590,000 people gave me $100 each to preorder a gold phone that did not exist. $59 million. No product. No support tickets. No returns. No reviews. My calendar was empty. My inbox was empty. My KPI was a number that only went up. I had one job and it was to not build a phone. I was the best in the world at it.

Then someone wrote a post about us on the internet and everything collapsed.

A satirical confession went viral. It described our entire operation. The version history. The deposit page. The terms update. The flag sticker. The "exciting update" emails. It got millions of views. Senator Warren forwarded it to the FTC. The FTC read it faster than I thought they could read. And for the first time in eleven months, the math changed. Not the moral math. The timing math. Discovery was now faster than deposit accumulation. The curve crossed. I saw it on a graph that I made my VP of Customer Expectations draw on the whiteboard. She drew two lines. One was going up. One was going down. They met on a Tuesday. I said ship it.

We did not ship because the phone was ready. We shipped because the internet was ready.

Here is what we shipped. A Qualcomm Snapdragon 7 Series processor. Mid-range. The same chipset that powers a Xiaomi phone you can buy on AliExpress for $220. A 6.78-inch AMOLED display, 120Hz refresh rate. The same panel Samsung puts in the Galaxy A55, which retails for $300. A triple camera system. Three 50-megapixel sensors. A 50-megapixel selfie camera. 512 gigabytes of storage. 12 gigabytes of RAM. A 5,000 mAh battery with 30-watt fast charging. These are the specs of a $300 phone. We charge $499. The $199 difference is the flag. That is the exact dollar value of patriotism in the mid-range Android market. I know this because I set the price.

Analysts at GSMArena compared our phone to the HTC U24 Pro. HTC. A company that has not been relevant since 2018. Our phone is being compared to the ghost of a dead brand and the ghost is winning on value. I have this article bookmarked. I read it every morning. It keeps me honest about what we actually built.

I will tell you what "assembled in the United States" means because I was in the room when we chose that word. Our CEO told USA Today that "these early T1 phones are proudly assembled in the US." The Verge confirmed final assembly takes place in Miami. Assembled means a person in Miami connects components that were manufactured elsewhere. It does not mean manufactured. It does not mean designed. It does not mean engineered. It means snapped together. Placed in proximity until functional.

The marketing language for this phone has now changed five times. "Designed and built in the United States." Then "proudly designed and built in the United States." Then "Premium Performance. Proudly American." Then "designed with American values in mind." Then "assembled in the U.S." with "components primarily manufactured in America." Each version of the sentence removes one claim. The sentence has its own version history. It iterates faster than the product. By version 6 it will just say "phone." By version 7 it will say "object." The sentence is approaching truthfulness asymptotically. It will never arrive.

A reporter from Reuters asked our CEO how many phones we shipped. He said he could not disclose that number for competitive reasons. I will tell you the competitive reason. If the number is small, we have a fulfillment problem. If the number is large, we have a returns problem. Both numbers are bad. The only good number was the one we had before: zero phones shipped, 590,000 deposits held. That number was perfect. It had no downside. It could not be reviewed on YouTube. It could not be dropped on a concrete floor on camera. It could not be benchmarked against a OnePlus Nord that costs $200 less and has the same processor. Zero is the only number that cannot disappoint.

Our CEO told The Verge that demand was "incredibly high" and all preorders would be fulfilled within "the next several weeks." Several weeks. Not this week. Not next week. Several. That word is doing $59 million worth of work. Several is the word you use when you know the number but the number is embarrassing. I know several. I have used several in every "exciting update" email for eleven months. Several is my native language.

We held $59 million in deposits for eleven months. I am not going to call that interest. I am going to call it deposit residency duration. We have a metric for it. The metric is called DRD. We track it weekly. Every week those deposits sat in our account without a corresponding obligation, the DRD metric improved. Nobody asked for their money back. The refund rate was under 2%. 590,000 people gave us an interest-free loan for eleven months and our only obligation was to send them emails that said "exciting update." The phone was never the product. The DRD was the product. We shipped a receipt for a loan we already spent.

The terms and conditions still say, today, right now, on the website: "A preorder deposit does not guarantee that a Device will be produced or made available for purchase." We shipped despite the terms. "Estimated ship dates, launch timelines, or anticipated production schedule are non-binding estimates only." We hit a non-binding estimate. "Trump Mobile does not guarantee that the Device will be commercially released." We commercially released it anyway. Our legal team is confused. They wrote terms for a company that never delivers. Now we have delivered. We are in breach of our own expectations. We guaranteed nothing and then provided something. There is no legal framework for this. There is no precedent for accidentally exceeding your own disclaimers. Our lawyers are writing new terms. The new terms will say: "Delivery does not constitute a guarantee of quality, functionality, or continued existence of the product or the company."

The Verge ran their headline: "The Trump phone starts shipping this week, company claims." They put "company claims" in the headline. For a shipping announcement. They have covered Apple, Samsung, Google. Nobody puts "company claims" after those shipping announcements. We have earned that qualifier. We earned it over eleven months of saying "exciting update" while updating nothing. Now when we actually do something, the press assumes we are still lying. We have created a credibility deficit so deep that the truth sounds like another version of the lie. This is the only product I have ever shipped where shipping it made us less believable.

The VP of Customer Expectations — the intern I promoted last year for asking when we would build the phone — she is now managing what she calls the "discovery window." The discovery window is the time between when a customer receives their phone and when they google "Trump T1 phone vs Samsung Galaxy A55." Her whiteboard says DISCOVERY DELAY. Her KPI is: average hours between delivery confirmation and first spec-comparison search. She says the current estimate is 72 hours. We need those 72 hours. After 72 hours, the return conversations start. I promoted her again. She is now SVP. She is the only person in the company whose job got harder when we shipped.

Here is what I have learned. I have learned that version 4.0 was perfect and version 4.1 is a regression. I am going to explain this using the version history because I know some of you are keeping score.

Version 1.0 was Trump University. Had to rent a room. Had to print a binder. Had to hire a speaker. Had to settle for $25 million. Three obligations.

Version 2.0 was $TRUMP. Had to mint a token. Did not have to build anything. Did not have to hire anyone. Just had to press mint. Two obligations eliminated.

Version 2.1 was $MELANIA. Same model. Launched 48 hours later on the same audience. Did not even need new customers. Cannibalized the last ones.

Version 3.0 was WLFI. Did not have to deliver. Did not have to pretend anything would go up. Just had to lock the door and keep the key. One obligation remaining: the smart contract.

Version 4.0 was Trump Mobile. Did not have to mint. Did not have to lock wallets. Did not have to build a lending platform. Put a flag on a gold rectangle that did not exist, opened a deposit page, collected $59 million, updated the terms to say the rectangle might never be real. Zero obligations.

Version 4.1 is this week. We shipped. We introduced liability. We created a physical object that can be tested, reviewed, returned, and compared to every $300 Android on the market. We took a perfect system and added one obligation back. This is a regression. This is a bug. We are monitoring.

The version history, updated:

1.0 — Had to rent a room. Had to settle.
2.0 — Had to mint. Didn't have to build.
2.1 — Didn't even need new customers.
3.0 — Didn't have to deliver. They couldn't leave.
4.0 — Didn't have to promise. They paid for the flag.
4.1 — Had to ship. Bug introduced by public attention. Patch pending.

Version 4.1 was introduced by public attention. The patch was forced by visibility. The internet found the version history and the version history became a liability. So we shipped a phone to reduce a different liability. We traded a legal exposure for a product exposure. I do not know which is worse. I do know which was more profitable. It was the eleven months before this week.

She asked me what version 5.0 is.

I told her version 5.0 is already in development. It corrects the error we introduced in 4.1. It will not have a product page. It will not have a ship date. It will not have terms and conditions because it will not need to disclaim anything. It will not have specs because there will be nothing to compare. It will not have a discovery window because there will be nothing to discover.

She asked what it will have.

I said a deposit page.

She said that's it?

I said that has always been it.

I am the Head of Product at Trump Mobile. I shipped a phone last week. It is a $300 phone that costs $499. It is assembled in a warehouse in Miami from components manufactured overseas. It runs a Snapdragon chip you can buy for the price of a steak dinner. It has the same screen as a Samsung phone that costs $200 less. The gold finish scratches. The flag is a sticker. It does everything a phone should do and nothing a $499 phone should justify. Analysts are comparing it to a dead brand and the dead brand is winning.

But I do not judge products by what they do. I judge products by how long they can collect revenue before they have to exist. By that metric, the T1 was the greatest product in American history for exactly eleven months. Now it is just a phone. I grieve what it was. I am already building what comes next.

Version 5.0 will not make this mistake.

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

The Strus is Loose

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

@Bayes_Baller Atlanta: rigged because Adam Silver had the audacity to cancel Magic city night. A+

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Every Ausar Thompson offensive rebound takes 10 days off of my life

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

@Kalshi I see your NICE agents and I raise you "agents formerly known as ICE"

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Panda time @BarstoolBigCat

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Gotta go at Duncan Robinson every play

[Kevin @KevinCavanaugh7]

Tari Eason might as well be shooting on those rigged carnival game rims. Dear god

[Shams Charania @ShamsCharania]

Florida junior Thomas Haugh -- a projected potential lottery pick -- will return to the Gators next season, he tells me, @JeremyWoo and @jeffborzello. With the 2027 Player of the Year candidate back in the fold, Florida becomes the favorite to open next season at No. 1.