Kevin M. Horton

Actor, Writer, Fun Uncle

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

Adulthood is vibing way too hard to a Celine Dion song in a CVS while you wait for your cholesterol medication.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

@WalshFreedom And it's un-Christian to think a government decree would count as personal relationship with Jesus.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

@elonmusk @SenSanders 11 million more shares to sell to prove you're not a liar.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

Just posted a photo @ Upstairs at The Federal https://t.co/YcS2qRNhWh

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

I’ve been eating and drinking green stuff wayyyy before it was #StPatricksDay mainly cuz my fridge has a mold problem.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

I heard @nbc was thinking about doing a #Cheers reboot, but decided America's already sick of adjusting to the #NewNorm.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

#QAnonsense ain't the first time the Christian church has been fooled. I don't know who needs to hear this, but ALL the main characters of #VeggieTales are actually FRUIT.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

The CBS Sports app crashes more than my grandma before we took her keys away.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

Why is it that dead animals receive better healthcare than most Americans? Your average chicken breast contains more antibiotics than I could afford in my twenties.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

@JohnPUTCH Took a stroll thru Glendale today, saw more coyotes than people wearing masks- which is alarming on a couple different levels. No place is safe anymore.

[Aaron Kleiber @AaronKleiber]

Late-Night-West-Coast-Private-Show-LIVE Happy Hour! Thanks to my dude @kevinmhorton! Hit him up if you want your very own happy hour comedy show! https://t.co/vE11CaP3Hn

[Aaron Kleiber @AaronKleiber]

Late-Night-West-Coast-Private-Show-LIVE Happy Hour! Thanks to my dude @kevinmhorton! Hit him up if you want your very own happy hour comedy show! https://t.co/b2HVdb7PUO

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

@RexChapman Under the Internal Revenue Code, all section 501(c)(3) organizations are absolutely prohibited from directly or indirectly participating in, or intervening in, any political campaign on behalf of (or in opposition to) any candidate for elective public office.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

@davidhogg111 uh... Let's not encourage that. There's already too many armed white-supremacists out there trying to muddle the message.

[Matthew A. Cherry @MatthewACherry]

Worth a thousand words 📸 @Richardgrant88

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

@myBurbankNEWS @Portantino @BurbankFire Wishing I went after those two lil jolts tonight.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

All my Facebook and Insta ads recently flipped to adult braces and online therapy so... My thirties are going greeeeeeat.

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

Are there really enough people out there who argue about the true color of landscape photos to justify the #NoFilter hashtag?

[Kevin M. Horton @KevinMHorton]

Decided to binge @CrashingHBO after the second time they played @jarsofclay. Who says #ChristianRock is just for #GodsNotDead sequels? Not @peteholmes or @JuddApatow!