Kevin

[taking my plushies to the end of the world party @2femcel2furious]

eventually there will be a baby who can withstand the 145 degree interior of an aging minivan . its called evolution . we just have to keep trying

[ellewasamistake @ellewasamistake]

box: meow

schrodinger: ignore that

[BLURAYANGEL 🦇 @blurayangel]

Ezra Miller every time a crime has been committed

[alex @mineifiwildout_]

that boy Judas was about his bread bro. betrayed the son of god just for that check. that’s what chasing a bag is all about

[sweet afia @elefaantz]

i h8 it when u email a professor and they make an announcement concerning the question u asked them like unh unh not u sneak dissing

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

Associate: I’ve got a probl—

Partner: —There is no such thing as problems. Only opportunities.

Associate: Ok I have a malpractice opportunity.

[cory @coolmathgame_]

british person: eat it

me: [tears in my eyes] it’s 5:30 in the morning

british person: [puts knife to my throat] eat the fuckin beans

[Dom. @domstoofly]

Not me agreeing with you

[adrienne 💕 @adoseofadriii]

I was passing my son in the kitchen and he did a little crossover and I hear him go “light work” under his breath …

Don’t get me tight fr