Kieran Bourke

I have to return some videotapes.

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

@hawkinschloe8 Negative. Can’t act on all my dreams whilst still revelling in pine needles

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Tree going DOWN, BITCHES

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

I don’t care about:

1) your Spotify Wrapped
2) your Elf on the shelf fucking kit you’ve bought

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Haven’t watched the egg-chase for a while but that was a cracker

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Great game for the neutral. Love it when these Super Sundays deliver.

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Those people that can’t eat a fucking Mars bar without tagging Mars in the hope of become a social media chocolate fucking sensation 🙄

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Never before have so many, queued for so long, for so little.

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Sven 😢

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Flirted my way out of an overweight baggage charge. I still got it. Never lost it.

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

The porn-fest that is the New Twitter will not win. I shall not be thwarted.

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Nothing makes me less interested in a sandwich than when it’s called ‘The Viral something-something sandwich’

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Boxing is the least interesting sport for me. Classless.

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

@ScugaSpeve We will cross the finish line, together.

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

All I want is a well-fitting high gsm plain t-shirt provider. Thus far my investigations have proved fruitless.

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

@hawkinschloe8 Need to be sure on the fit. Send pics.

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Man City be chillin’

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

@_tjlxx “It’s time for a fit-check! I’m wearing pleated trousers from H&M…”

I hear that and the vomit is all over the walls

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

Corporations adopting the term ‘fit’ in their marketing is just 🤢

“Check out these spring / summer fits” 🙄

[Kieran Bourke @Kieranasaur]

These IG recipe ideas very rarely turn out as easy as they seem. But when they do 👨‍🍳👌🏻😘