βLΔZΣ

I am Blaze, and I'm married to @king__sonic and I'm a vampire, so watch your back, daughters: Lilith, Bubbles, and Ember S. R. Hitama Son: Flame M. Hitama

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry how big is your nose?

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

Whenever you're feeling down, just remember, there's some kid out there right now getting caught masturbating by his mom.”

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

This girl just tweeted "What's Obama's last name?" I almost broke my whole thumb trying to unfollow her...

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

Lil Wayne be like: Pushed a nun in a wheelchair, call that Virgin Mobile

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

When you start to hate someone, everything they do begins to annoy you...Them: *Cough*You: "OOOOHHH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDD"

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

"You got that from a movie" BRO LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT.

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

I hate when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

iCarly should have ended by her waking up from a coma and Drake and Josh calling her Megan.

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

Step 1: Buy combination lock.Step 2: Find someone with gauges.Step 3: Run up to them, click lock around their ear.Step 4: Run like hell.

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

That awkward moment when your bro actually tells a cool story

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

If you force a hocker to have sex with you is that consider rape? Or shoplifting...

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

what kids should be doing: what they're doing: what I'm doing 

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

I'm still waiting for the day that I will actually use x² y 8 [(x 2y ² = a-z] 2x ³ (- 2z = 2. 4) 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9 in real life.

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

True fear is when you've had the "seeker" walk by you when you were playing hide & seek.

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

What do you say to someone who points out your zipper is down?"Ah, the cage is open but the beast is asleep."

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

*follows dreams* *dreams don't follow back* *unfollows dreams*

[Men's Humor @TheMensHumor]

If Jordan made condoms, no female would be pregnant.. dudes would be runnin` round with them Retro Lubricated 11'sPlastic 3'sElastic 5's

[GameStop @gamestop]

#HTCVive is now available for purchase online: https://t.co/5GEPVzhrFM Plus: 20% extra credit on trades toward Vive