knittykins

Follower of Christ, Wife, Mom, Referee, Lover of cars, Hater of long walks, Super-stealthy ninja

[knittykins @Knittykins]

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

[JRGin @GinRumMe]

[Opera Voice]

🎶 Do not eat my fries 🎶

[Eka Bakie @EkaBakie]

I wish Roombas got the zoomies

[Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin]

Hot girls love carrot cake. I don’t make the rules.

[ThePurpleLady ☂️💜💟 @The_PurpleLady]

Remind me to not care.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I wish my inferiority complex was as good as everybody else's.

[Louise Jensen Duffy (also Ernest Jensen) @LouiseWeebe]

So many people have inspired me to be nothing like them.

[krista @kristabellerina]

I saw my shadow today, aka the bags under my eyes because I need 6 more weeks of sleep.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Museums: we know everything about humans.

Grocery stores: that’s cute.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I'm not smart, but I try to be kind

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Welcome to Twitter, this is where Belligerence is a survival skill .

[Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy]

Look, all I’m saying is, there are far too many songs about love and not enough songs about how important evenly layered nachos are

[dan @dadopotamus]

the key to happiness is to put your phone down, go outside and watch people slip on the ice.

[120yearz @120yearz]

I still print out a calendar every month.... what of it

[knittykins @Knittykins]

I’m not sure the people who romanticize the “analog” life actually lived through it

[Doc Johnny Fever🎙 @NikiMarinis]

I don't want validation from you. I want $500.

[Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues]

Sorry I missed your call, but I had to talk on the phone two times today, so I’ve already met my yearly quota.

[Cat From Nowhere @kv8]

nothing purrsonal but... *meow*

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

You could put any frightened animal in a china shop and have the same results.

[knittykins @Knittykins]

@TheTinkleBelle2 @onascaleof1210 Yes 😆

[knittykins @Knittykins]

Look, I get that the English language is weird and has a ton of inconsistencies but at least I don’t have to try and remember if pizza is feminine or masculine.

[120yearz @120yearz]

staying in your lane is cardio