Datt Mahlk

Marinading like a t-bone steak and napping paraprofessional

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

Same student "Let's use our thinking caps. C'mon ya'll let's go back to 2nd grade".

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

8th grade student during group work time: " I don't know about ya'll but ya'll can use your own brain power on this one because I'm writing FAST"

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

"Chicago is where hillbillies come from"

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

Reasons to date an Android user:
1) We'll never go through your phone because we can't navigate through Apple/iPhone's complexities.

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

"It's like the Napoleon [Neapolitan] ice cream."

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

@BennyAltfish22 @barstoolsports Bet you won't.

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

Just gunna keep a running tab of non-coherent mumbo jumbo my girlfriend says and all the firewood I get from Steinhafels.

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

"My wine that was out from last night, that was from last night, said it was vegan on the back so I watched it..."

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

@Steinhafels More surprises; a bent slat.... This is atrocious.

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

@Steinhafels How is this split wood on the multi-hundred dollar frame even acceptable to put a mattress atop of? Every board has splitting on it. Were there no quality checks?

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

Hey, @Steinhafels , your frame doesn't even fit the hardware attached to it. These metal bolts (for lack of better terms) won't slide into the hardware. Yes, we've switched both side boards too. Feel like im building a Swiss watch at this point.

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

Grainy, illegible instructions. Deeply disappointed.

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

C'mon. 5 months of waiting for this???

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

I don't bet in monetary forms. Only Choco-Tacos.

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

Four.

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

Not even 11am and my mother has cried three times. #CantHandleHolidays

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

@StevensMax @Diabetic_BigCat @JStasz81 @AllDayJon some may call it fashionably late

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

@StevensMax @Diabetic_BigCat @JStasz81 @AllDayJon I haven't been on Twitter in a coon's age

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

@Diabetic_BigCat @JStasz81 @AllDayJon @StevensMax what in the yup happened?

[Datt Mahlk @KosherTequila]

@StevensMax mmm... Sweet